In Part Two of this powerful ANEW Insight Podcast conversation, Dr. Supatra Tovar reunites with addiction recovery specialist Lance Wright to explore what happens after the turning point—when someone is finally ready to heal, rebuild, and live differently.
This episode goes beyond “getting clean.” It’s about self-forgiveness, neuroplasticity, daily practice, and the delicate work of rebuilding trust—especially inside families. Lance shares how he helps clients identify the deeper programming underneath addiction, and how real recovery is created through consistent action, compassionate accountability, and connection.
If Part One was the why, Part Two is the how.
Why Forgiveness Is So Powerful in Healing
Lance opens this episode with a reframing that changes everything:
Forgiveness is not a noun. It’s an action.
In other words, forgiveness isn’t something you “feel” one day and move on. It’s something you live—daily—through integrity, responsibility, and choices that honor what was broken.
And he makes an important distinction:
- Forgiving others matters
- Being forgiven matters
- But self-forgiveness is often the hardest and most essential step
Because many people in addiction aren’t just battling cravings—they’re battling a core belief:
“I don’t deserve to be better.”
Lance speaks directly to the quiet shame that lives under so many struggles:
I’m a bad mom. I’m a failure. I can’t fix what I’ve damaged.
His approach is both compassionate and direct: he helps people see that the very act of seeking help is evidence of who they really are.
The Path Out of Darkness Is Light, Love, and Connection
One of the strongest themes in this episode is that recovery cannot be sustained through punishment, self-hatred, or fear.
Lance names what actually creates lasting change:
- Light (truth, insight, clarity)
- Love (compassion, dignity, worthiness)
- Connection (safe relationships, support, accountability)
This is where shame loses its grip.
Because shame thrives in isolation—but healing thrives in relationship.
From Incarceration to Life Over Addiction: The “Small Steps” That Changed Everything
Lance shares what it was like to leave prison after 27 years—with only 72 hours’ notice.
No gradual adjustment. No time to “prepare.” Just the reality of stepping into a world that had moved on without him.
What helped him succeed wasn’t luck. It was the foundation he built through recovery:
humility, accountability, and the ability to ask for help.
A key takeaway here is simple but profound:
Recovery teaches you how to ask.
And asking is often the beginning of freedom.
He describes reintegration through a supportive transitional environment, then working his way into counseling and treatment leadership—eventually forming his own company and method.
And he says something that matters for anyone seeking help:
Not every treatment center is ethical.
Lance openly acknowledges that the industry can include “shady” operations—and that finding the right care and right people is essential.
How Lance’s Method Is Different: He Treats the Roots, Not Just the Symptom
This is the heart of Part Two.
Lance explains that he’s not primarily focused on the substance or behavior.
He’s focused on the program underneath it:
- What story are you living from?
- What internal code are you running?
- What belief keeps pulling you back to self-destruction?
Because addiction isn’t just chemical dependence—it’s often an attachment to something unresolved:
- pain
- fear
- insecurity
- abandonment
- grief
- “not good enough” narratives
- emotional avoidance
His work is about helping people locate the root and then answer the most important question:
What do you want to do about it now?
Neuroplasticity Explained Simply (and Why It Matters for Recovery)
Lance describes neuroplasticity in a way that makes it easy to understand:
Your brain is programmable. Your beliefs are not permanent. Your pathways can change.
Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to create new patterns and connections—especially through repeated experience and practice.
He gives a powerful example: a moment when a mentor helped him recognize that a childhood narrative (about his father and abandonment) was a story his younger self created to make sense of pain.
That moment wasn’t just insight—it was a brain shift.
A new pathway opened:
- from rage → to understanding
- from identity-as-wound → to identity-as-choice
- from “this is who I am” → to “this is what happened to me, and I can grow from here”
How People Actually Rewire: Practice Creates the New Path
This is where Lance gets practical—and where this episode becomes incredibly useful for listeners.
He explains that neuroplasticity isn’t created by one breakthrough.
It’s created by repetition + action.
Example: The “Good Mom” Rewire
A woman in treatment believes she’s a terrible mom. Lance doesn’t just comfort her—he gives her a new practice:
- do one loving action daily
- create something for her child
- write, draw, show effort, show presence
- live today as the mother she wants to be tomorrow
His message is clear:
If you practice that for 365 days, guess who you will be?
Example: The Father Who Didn’t Learn Love
A dad raised without affection wants to rebuild with his kids. Lance assigns a concrete action:
- order a box of cards
- write each child a loving letter every day
- mail them consistently
This isn’t sentimental—it’s neurological.
It builds a new channel of connection where none existed.
That’s neuroplasticity in action.
Families and Addiction: Compassion + Boundaries + Reality
Dr. Tovar asks one of the most important questions in addiction recovery:
How can families support a loved one without being destroyed by the cycle?
Lance explains that addiction changes the brain’s survival system—often hijacking pleasure, threat, and decision-making.
So families need two things at once:
1) Compassion (because the person isn’t fully themselves)
Addiction often isn’t “character.” It’s a dysregulated survival system running the show.
2) Boundaries (because love without limits becomes enabling)
He’s clear: boundaries are not punishment. They are protection.
- “You can’t be here unless you’re sober.”
- “You can’t stay in the home while stealing, lying, or violating safety.”
- “We love you—and we won’t participate in this.”
Dr. Tovar reinforces an essential truth for families:
Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is require a decision:
- keep the addiction
or - keep the relationship
Why Interventions Work (When Done Right)
Lance reframes intervention away from confrontation and toward invitation:
An intervention isn’t a moral judgment.
It’s an invitation to restoration.
And one reason interventions can be powerful is this:
It breaks denial—because the addicted person realizes everyone already knows.
That moment can create disruption—enough space for truth to enter.
A Gentle Takeaway
This episode reminds us:
Recovery isn’t about becoming “perfect.”
It’s about becoming present.
Self-forgiveness isn’t a switch.
It’s a daily practice of integrity.
Healing isn’t just insight.
It’s repetition.
And families don’t need to choose between love and boundaries—
they need both.
Listen to Part Two of the ANEW Insight Podcast with Lance Wright
If you or someone you love is struggling, this conversation offers a compassionate, actionable pathway forward—without shame.
Quick FAQs
1) What does self-forgiveness actually look like in recovery?
Self-forgiveness is not “forgetting.” It’s living differently. It’s taking consistent actions that align with integrity, responsibility, and repair—so your life becomes the amends.
2) How does neuroplasticity help people recover from addiction?
Neuroplasticity means the brain can form new pathways. Recovery uses repeated practices—honesty, connection, structure, emotional regulation, and accountability—to replace old survival coding with healthier patterns over time.
3) How can families rebuild trust after relapse or repeated lying?
Trust returns through consistency, not promises. Families need clear boundaries, reliable support, and a plan for accountability. It may not become “perfect,” but it can become safer and more stable with time and structure.
Continue Your Healing Journey
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If you want support that blends compassion with structure—and focuses on the real roots underneath addiction—this episode is a reminder:
View here the full podcast Transcript:
Dr. Supatra Tovar: [00:00:00] Welcome back to the ANEW Insight podcast. We are back for the second half of this amazing interview with Addiction Recovery Specialist Lance Wright, and he’s also my new friend. Lance gave us some heart-wrenching insight into his path from addiction to recovery. I have got to learn more, and we are going to start with forgiveness.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Why has forgiveness been so powerful in your healing?
Lance Wright: Well, you know, as we ended that last segment, it was in my heart to speak on that because it’s one thing to forgive others or even others to forgive you. But there’s a place in this process that’s probably one of the more important ones and one that we carry in a place of amends, is that forgiveness is not a noun, it’s an action. Um, my [00:01:00] forgiveness is something I live every day and honor by how I live my life and honor those people I’ve hurt and the life I live today I can hold my head high. I can live in integrity. I can believe in myself. I can honor myself and love myself because I honor and live in accordance to that and to my past. And for me, that’s really at the essence of self-forgiveness. When you are doing, like when I sit with clients in treatment and like I was this afternoon and one of the young ladies, I threw some heavy hard balls at ’em and they were like, and I said, you listen well, and you struggle with forgiving yourself because you don’t think you’re a good mom. And she’s like, and I said, the fact that you’re here and you’ve said you wanna be a good mom tells me everything about the lady of grace and dignity that you truly are and that I hope you learn and see here. And she just kinda like,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Wow.
Lance Wright: because really at the end of the [00:02:00] day, a path out of the darkness is light and love and connection. And so that, for me, forgiveness is a big part of what I live and what I teach. It may not be spoken a lot, but it’s in the ether. It’s, it’s the mortar or the integrity of the wall that we build in recovery or in life because not everybody’s a drug addict or alcoholic sometimes. I’ll meet with people that struggle with, I’m not good enough, or I’ve, I’m a failure.
Lance Wright: Those are narratives that people are attached to in destructive and addictive ways, just as much as alcohol or drugs, so,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes. Well gimme a picture of, you got committed to getting clean. What were the, the small steps that you took to where you are today? Give us a picture in Is, is.
Lance Wright: mm-hmm.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: know, truncated amount of time as possible so I can answer, get all the other answers to my questions in there. Uh, how you got from [00:03:00] incarceration to life over addiction.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Tell me about that pathway.
Lance Wright: Well, let’s just real briefly, the 18 years of sobriety I had from when I got sober March 11th of ’93 to coming home and working with Richard and the guys that I work with and grew up with really, um, that’s where it began. That’s where I learned to do the craft that I do and to listen and to see the importance of vulnerability in men’s lives because our, we were helping men in their prepare them to come home and stay home and not commit crimes or violate their communities ’cause that was also part of our amends. If I helped you go home and you didn’t hurt somebody, that’s a work that God used me for and that’s what I should be doing. So, coming home was very daunting, to say the least.
Lance Wright: I had a lot of recovery. I had grown up a lot. I knew how to ask. One of the biggest things recovery taught me is how do you do that? Can you help me? Because I didn’t know how to get sober. I didn’t know how to do a lot of things, but I [00:04:00] learned how to ask. So in 19. No. 2011 in June, I had gotten a 3-0 decision by the first appellate court ordering my immediate release, and it was upheld.
Lance Wright: And I learned on a Wednesday that I was going home on a Saturday because the state had to let me go in 72 hours, and I was 27 years in on that life sentence. So I really didn’t have any adjustment time. It was like, go.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Wow.
Lance Wright: I, I walked out around the end of June of 2011 with a rubber tub with all my life possessions. But in here and in here, I had faults of recovery and wisdom from my own journey of growth and growing up and helping others. So I had a foundation of what I was to become and be here today. I didn’t know, just like I don’t think God wants us to know tomorrow sometimes he wants us to be in the today and growing. I went to a place called Be Teshuva in Culver City. ’cause I knew Rabbi Mar Borowitz, he was a good friend and a supporter [00:05:00] of the work we do. And he said, just come here, chill out for a minute, get your feet under you. You’ve been away a while. You’ll have support. You know, you really just, it’s not a program for you.
Lance Wright: It’s a place to live and grow and like reintegrate. So about a month in, I started working for him. No, I got a job working at a kitchen ’cause I just, I had to make money. I didn’t like to ask people. I had too much pride. That’s my ego. And then he gave me a job and I, you know, I was working on this maintenance crew and somebody said you should go to school and be a counselor.
Lance Wright: And I’m like, ’cause I always help people. It’s just my spirit now. And so I go sign up for, get my, uh, credential for a counselor and I’m going to school. And he calls me in his office one day, or I think it was like a Friday, and he says, what are you doing for me right now? And I go, well, I’m on your maintenance crew, Rab.
Lance Wright: What’s up? And he goes, you going to school to be a counselor? I go, well, of course. You know, that’s what you know, you know that. And he goes, uh, you’re not on my maintenance crew. Monday, you’re gonna be a counselor. I’m giving you $2 more an hour. And now you’ll have like 10 [00:06:00] clients. Get outta my office. And I’m like, a counselor now. And for four years I was a counselor there and, and I, not to toot my own horn, but because of how I approach things, how I work with clients, I see it as more than drugs and alcohol. And I was able to be very effective in helping people in those four years and met a lot of people and helped a lot of people. And about four years in, I got an opportunity to go work somewhere. And it was more money and my ego, you know, Hey, who doesn’t want more money? You know what I mean? And they wanna make me a program coordinator. Oh wow. A title and all this. And so off I went ended up being a body brokering kinda shady treatment center.
Lance Wright: ’cause not all treatment centers are good. I mean, I’m sure you’re aware of some people in your industry that are probably shady.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Lance Wright: Yeah, I’m there and. One day they tell me they’re not gonna gimme a pay raise. They promised me and I gave my resignation to ’em, [00:07:00] and I didn’t have a parachute, a job, nothing.
Lance Wright: But I just wasn’t gonna do that. And so I called a friend and she goes, well, you do process groups. I go, anybody can do process groups? She goes, no, not like you. You know too much. Uh I go, well, yeah. And she goes, well, I can give you, you come do some process groups. I’m an IOP like, uh, director out here in Malibu. And I’m like, okay, what do you pay? And she goes, a hundred dollars a group. Well, how many groups can I do? I can give you two or three groups a day. Well, when can I start? You know? I mean that’s like a lot more money than I’ve ever made.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Right.
Lance Wright: So I’m working at Cliffside Malibu
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Lance Wright: one of the best places I’ve ever worked, amongst some of the most professional people I’ve ever worked.
Lance Wright: It was a really, like when you show up to work and you feel you should put a suit and tie on, you know, it’s kind of that kinda level.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yeah.
Lance Wright: I arrived there. I loved it. Helping the clients. Usually when you went there, you really, if you’re paying that kind of money, you’re not spending it just to go to a flop house.
Lance Wright: You wanna figure [00:08:00] out your problems.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Lance Wright: And I was there eight and a half years, and while I was there, somebody said I was starting to coach people and mentor people and do that kind of work. The Addiction recovery specialist work that I do.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Lance Wright: Everything from pre interventions to aftercare
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Lance Wright: Learning how I do it and how I like to do it and what works. And so one day, uh, the owner, um, he pulls me over and he, he called me. I was on vacation. He goes, you can’t be an independent contractor. I have to hire you. Or What do you do? And I told him, he goes, well, you’re not staffed because you’re way advanced for that. I want you to go get an LLC. And when you get the EIN number, you tell you, call Karen and tell her what it is and we’re gonna put you in his, you know, and I’m like, okay. So that’s where Life After Addiction, where I got my LLC,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Right.
Lance Wright: I’ve been building that my, on my pattern of doing things,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Okay,
Lance Wright: yes.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: So I wanna know your pattern of doing things. I want, I wanna know [00:09:00] because it, you know, I think people have an idea of a addiction treatment and I think yours is much different. Give me how yours is different.
Lance Wright: Well, when I sit with somebody, I’m not as concerned with your drug or your alcohol problem. We’ll deal with that. It’s not as severe as the other problems that are underneath the surface. I wanna get to know you. What’s your story? going on in there that makes you tick to do you what you do?
Lance Wright: What’s your programming? What’s your code that’s you’re operating from? ‘Cause what you’re doing is not normal and it’s not congruent with a normal human being or what we do. How did this happen? Where did this come from? I’ll give you an example. Today working with people at the treatment center, they’re really, they love me to push ’em and I says, okay. did to them what I did at the end of the TEDx, I says, I want each one of you to go look at three of your negative codes or programming. Write ’em down, leave space. I want you to go back over your [00:10:00] life and look at where that comes from, where it was created, how it’s affected your life in a negative way.
Lance Wright: Just do that today. Because when they start to see where it comes from and how it’s impacting their life, my next conversation is, what do you wanna do about it? If
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Love it.
Lance Wright: you feel that you’re insecure, that nobody sees you, you’re different. You can’t show emotions, let’s just say that. Well, guess what? Every group you need to show up and talk for two to five minutes from a vulnerable place, oh my God, I’m gonna die. You have to go out of your way to be more present. You can’t isolate. You have to look and see your value, that you’re not, you’re not the sum of your, your actions, although you’re accountable for them, you’re you. And you can build a new path, a new language, a new coding. That for
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Lance Wright: me is the essence of recovery.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Lance Wright: Changing the things that I ran away from so I’m not running away. ’cause that’s what people do, drugs and alcohol most of the [00:11:00] time for,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Right.
Lance Wright: to that for, because in and of itself, drug and alcohol abuse is a real thing. You know, the dependency and those kind of things. But underneath it, it’s attached to something that I can’t let go of and that I don’t wanna deal with.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Right.
Lance Wright: I can identify what I’m attached to, heal the wound towards a scar, I don’t have to be in chapter five of my life, or 10 or 15 anymore. I can be present with you today and learn how to live and grow today. So that’s
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes.
Lance Wright: behind
Dr. Supatra Tovar: And you are using the science of neuroplasticity to help people change and grow. So explain for people who don’t understand what that is, what neuroplasticity is and how you are using it in your treatment.
Lance Wright: Well, neuroplasticity is simply this. We’re programmable beings and brains and our neural pathways and how we see things are malleable. You know, they can shift, they can [00:12:00] change. Um, I think everybody watching this has had something in their life that they’ve attached to or believed, that they realize today isn’t true and they’re not attached to it anymore. That’s neuroplasticity. It’s like I create a new pathway, a new relationship with something. When. I grew up, I was abandoned on love, blah, blah, blah. I say it that way now that, but then it was very real. You could not have convinced me otherwise, but like the day I sat with Richard and I tried to make this quick. And we were talking about my father, who I never knew, which was a big, big, bad thing in my soul. And when I was sharing with these, this list of things about my dad, with Richard, I got vehemently hot ’cause all the anger, all the rage, that little boy in the narratives and the programming showed up and he’s listening to me. And after I was done venting, he goes, can I ask you a couple questions? Sure. That’s strange, but, okay. Do you know why your father wasn’t, or No. Do you know why your father and [00:13:00] mother split up? No. Did your mother ever say your father didn’t love you? No. Did he ever say he didn’t love you? No. About the fifth or sixth?
Lance Wright: No. That white hot rage, you could almost right now see. This raging little story developed as a child, this programming go,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Wow.
Lance Wright: I’m like, and he’s in that moment. He said it is perfectly understandable that the little boy would create a story to understand something he couldn’t possibly understand, and that was wrong. You should have had somebody there. But what you did with that story and how you’ve hurt yourself and other people is wrong too. And today we can begin to change that. That’s a moment of neuro transformation. That’s a moment of neuroplasticity. That’s a like what just happened?
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm.
Lance Wright: Now of course I [00:14:00] had to practice new things like honesty and vulnerability and things, but there was a clear path out now. I, there was a moment of healing in that space that I don’t think I would’ve gotten from anybody else or any other space or moment. I don’t forget it because it’s that transition. It’s that like, almost like a new neural pathway was being formed from that point forward.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Hmm.
Lance Wright: If that explains it.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Absolutely. And so, you know, this is something that I do in the work with my clients as well, is that I think, you know, science before was saying, oh, once your brain is, you know reaches, you’re a certain age, like 25, your brain no longer grows brain cells or has new connection, blah, blah, blah. They’ve, they’ve completely, uh, discounted that old theory because it is absolutely 100% possible to change very old patterns of thought, uh, with some deliberate work.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: And it’s not just [00:15:00] about making realizations or gaining objectivity, which are the two things that you’re really, uh, you know. You’ve already illuminated that you do. There needs to be practice because if you have had that story wired in your brain for so long, it becomes automatic or the thought, and usually, you know, for a lot of people, and a lot of people I see come into my office, the thought is I’m worthless or I’m not lovable.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: There’s really deep, um, wounded personal thoughts that you think over and over again. Usually coming from a troubled childhood. And so how do you help people rewire? What kinds of ways can do you help them to practice these new thoughts so that they can assume the person that they really, truly are inside?
Lance Wright: I am gonna go back to the young lady who I talked to this afternoon about [00:16:00] being a good mom. She hasn’t heard that in a long time.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Uh.
Lance Wright: Nobody’s given her any positive verbal affirmation.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Lance Wright: Nobody’s acknowledged the hard work it took for her to leave her baby with her mom and come to treatment
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Lance Wright: And how much that speaks to the amazing young lady and mother
Lance Wright: she really is inside that she can’t see, but I can, and you can. And so me bringing that up and putting it on a plate for her to see and remind her of every time I see her, of encouraging her when she feels down or beating herself up. Get a coloring book, draw something, write something for her kid, even if her kid’s young.
Lance Wright: Do it anyway. Be the mom that you wanna be today moving forward. And if you practice that for 365 days, guess who you will be?
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Hmm.
Lance Wright: That’s really neuroplasticity, that’s action. That’s creating a new neural pathway. And there was a [00:17:00] young man, well not so young, but he had a son and daughter and his dad raised him very little, communication, very little love.
Lance Wright: So that’s how he was raising his kids and he felt guilty. And I told him, I want you to go on Amazon. I want you to order little kid cards. Like 500 of ’em are in a box or something with envelopes, and every day I want you to write each one of your children a little card about how much you love them and meaningful things to them. Put a stamp on it and send it to them.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Wow.
Lance Wright: He thought I was crazy when I made the suggestion to him. said, how cool would it be if you went home and found a box of letters from your father that said he loved you and he was sorry? And you got to hold that box. How much would that mean to you? And in the process of doing that, you’re gonna create a channel of love and connection to your kids and to yourself that you don’t even know. So see, that’s neuroplasticity, but that’s action. [00:18:00] That’s creating belief. belief.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Oh my goodness. That is so inspiring. You know, and that, that really does give me ideas of, of further things that I can do in my therapy office as well. And you know, I think for the listeners out there, there’s so many ways that you can rewire your thinking in your brain. I am a big proponent of using mantras
Dr. Supatra Tovar: which are, you know, repeating a, a, a phrase over and over again. And that’s the new thought that I like to help people recondition into. Because when you say a mantra, you’re saying it over and over again. It becomes meditative, it becomes, um, relaxing. It also helps to reset your nervous system and rewire your thinking around this new thought.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: And I’ve seen that be really effective. I love the idea of using these actions as well as the way to like, you know, [00:19:00] reinforce who they really are. Um, it’s really not changing. It’s, it’s, it’s, it’s remembering who they really are and then Yes. And then passing it forward. Oh, I love this Lance. Really beautiful work.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: And I tell you what I have people that I’m gonna refer to you already. Um, but let’s talk about families. This is a really tough one. How can families support a loved one in addiction? I’ve seen so many families struggle with this. And what do you wish every family understood about compassion, boundaries and trust during recovery?
Lance Wright: It is very difficult to deal with a loved one, an addiction of any kind, whether it’s a thought addiction, a attitude, a behavior, drugs and alcohol, because they’re not themselves. When a person becomes addicted, I [00:20:00] guess the brain, for real quick, we have this thing called the amygdala. I know you’re aware of it, but most people don’t know what that is.
Lance Wright: Its primary thing is pleasure and survival among other things. But those are its core. It’s the reason as a human species, we’re still here. It’s a evolutionary part of creation that was given to us, and that’s not religious. That’s just reality and science,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: mm-hmm.
Lance Wright: if you put a substance into your body that makes a hamburger seem like minuscule and that substance changes feelings and emotions and all that, it becomes a dominant piece of like pleasure and survival a little bit. It overwhelms the system.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Lance Wright: When you don’t have that, the amygdala takes that as threat, problem. I tell people it’s not normal for somebody to walk into a gas station with a [00:21:00] gun and say, gimme your money.
Lance Wright: I need a shot of heroin. Something took over the system. Your loved one’s system has been taken over and it really isn’t authentically who they are.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Lance Wright: here we go. What do I do? Well, you’re probably not gonna be able to do it alone.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes.
Lance Wright: That’s why I do everything from pre-intervention to aftercare because I think families need as much support as their loved one and understanding what’s going on and guidance through that.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Lance Wright: Um, they need to understand that an intervention isn’t about judgment and resentment, although they’re probably pissed off and angry. It’s
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Lance Wright: about an invitation to healing and restoration. And that’s typically that empathetic, loving way of doing things will guide a person to say yes, rather than if you, if I came in and was pointing a finger at you, you’re probably gonna run away. If I say, Supatra, I want you back in the family. We care about you. [00:22:00] We, I remember the time when we were kids, man, I’m here for you and I’ll be here for you. But I can’t support that. And that’s why we’re here to support you getting back to who you are. ‘Cause we miss you. How?
Dr. Supatra Tovar: How do you deal though with repeated uh, relapses and transgressions. Like, you know, I think lying, um, covering up for actions, things like that is very common. So trust gets broken. How do you help family members rebuild that trust? .
Lance Wright: It’s a long process and it may never be perfect. I’m not gonna say that this is a perfect work and that your loved one or your family member or friend won’t violate that space again. I would say having healthy boundaries. You know when your loved one is acting off, know when something’s not congruent, when acting up. And you know, at that point, if you just wanna play [00:23:00] it off, like man, maybe it’s that. ‘Cause you don’t want to confront the issue or bring it up or set a boundary so you let it continue to happen. I would always say if they are stealing or if they’re being problematic or aggressive or any of that, there’s a firm boundary.
Lance Wright: You can’t be here till you’re sober.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Hmm.
Lance Wright: Then if you’re an adult, you don’t need to be at home with mom and dad. You’re an adult. I think you run into it a lot with spouses and and loved ones that their partner all of a sudden has fallen into a place and they’re embarrassed. They’re ashamed. They don’t know what to do.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Right.
Lance Wright: I come in and help them set the boundaries. Maybe we do an intervention.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes.
Lance Wright: An intervention has multiple reasons. It’s not just trying to convince the loved one to go to treatment. It’s letting a loved one know that everybody around knows,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes, 100% yes. That’s exactly how I help my clients as well. It’s it, I think it’s very important that those [00:24:00] boundaries are set, especially if you know the loved one, the family member uh, is feeling trodden upon is feeling like, you know, I, this, I can’t maintain this, I can’t live like this. Sometimes there has to be some kind of ultimatum and that person has to make a decision, you know, do they wanna continue this addiction or do they want to keep the relationship between their loved ones?
Dr. Supatra Tovar: . And, and, and honor their loved one’s boundaries. So I 100% agree with this. Lance. Oh my gosh, I have 80,000 more questions for you, but we are low on time. I would love for you to help people find their way to you, because I really think your method is so effective. You’ve really turned a troubled life into a life of meaning and purpose and service, and I want as many people as possible to know [00:25:00] how to get to you.
Lance Wright: Well, I mean, you can go to Info@LifeOverAddiction.com
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Lance Wright: and email me, but what I wanna do with you Supatra, is after this, I’m gonna email you a sheet. It has my, the Calendly link
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Okay.
Lance Wright: It also has the barcode where all you have to do is hold up your phone to the code and it’s a free 30 minute consultation. It’s free. I, I charge nothing. We talk about what’s going on. I make suggestions. I set a price point and it all depends on the family. I’m not somebody like, if you can’t afford it, I’ll work with you to, you know, to a degree.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Lance Wright: It’s more about helping people. But
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes.
Lance Wright: right now I’ll share it with you, I’ll send it to you, my Calendly link, and you just put your QR code up there.
Lance Wright: And there you go. You can set it up and let’s start a new conversation about how to help you and your loved ones.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes. Oh, Lance, I have people I’m sending to you already and I know that they will benefit from your help. I, I just think [00:26:00] you are a rare, beautiful, kind human being who you know, through just being vulnerable. And allowing, have transformed a very troubled life that I can completely understand into something that is just so beautiful.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: So I really hope that everybody takes advantage of his consultation. If you’re struggling out there, don’t be ashamed. So many people struggle with this and this is, a, like Lance said, a program that just needs to be rewired in your system. And you can do that. If Lance can do it, you can too.
Lance Wright: That’s, yeah, I’m the example.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: He’s the example. An amazing example. So thank you so much for joining me, Lance. I just think you’re fabulous. I’m so glad to, to have you in my [00:27:00] life.
Lance Wright: I’m very grateful for your in mine, Supatra.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes, and thank you everyone for joining me on the ANEW Insight Podcast. I’m really looking forward to my next interview and hope you join me next time.
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