If you’ve ever wondered why childhood experiences still affect your self-esteem, health, or relationships decades later, this conversation offers clarity—and hope. In this ANEW Insight Podcast episode, I sat down with transpersonal psychologist and mind-body medicine practitioner Dr. Meg Haworth to unpack how narcissistic abuse, especially from parents, shapes the nervous system, identity, and even physical health.
This article is designed to be user-friendly, search-optimized, and deeply validating. Whether you’re questioning your upbringing, struggling in adult relationships, or noticing unexplained health patterns, you’ll find answers here.
What Is Narcissistic Abuse and Why Is It So Hard to Recognize?
Narcissistic abuse is often invisible. Unlike physical abuse, it leaves no obvious scars, yet it profoundly impacts how a person sees themselves and the world.
According to Dr. Haworth, one of the hardest steps in healing is recognizing that a parent (or partner) may be narcissistic. Many survivors grow up with:
- Chronic shaming and guilt
- Emotional neglect paired with intense control
- Constant criticism with shifting “rules”
- A family system built around protecting the narcissistic parent’s image
Children learn early that their needs don’t matter, and that survival depends on staying attuned to someone else’s emotions.
Common Roles Children Are Forced Into in Narcissistic Families
One of the most validating moments for many clients is realizing: “It wasn’t me—it was the role I was assigned.”
Dr. Haworth describes several common roles:
The Scapegoat
- Often the most perceptive and truth-telling child
- Blamed for family problems
- More likely to seek therapy later in life
The Golden Child
- Idealized by the narcissistic parent
- Rewarded for compliance
- Often struggles later with identity and authenticity
The Invisible Child
- Emotionally neglected
- Overlooked unless needed
- Grows up feeling unseen and unimportant
These roles are not chosen by the child—they’re assigned to maintain control within the family system.
Signs You May Have Experienced Narcissistic Abuse as a Child
Many adults don’t connect their current struggles to childhood narcissistic abuse until they see the patterns laid out clearly.
Here are some of the most common psychological and emotional signs:
- Chronic low self-esteem
- Harsh inner self-talk that mirrors a parent’s voice
- People-pleasing or fawning as a trauma response
- Perfectionism paired with fear of finishing things
- Hypervigilance and constant self-doubt
- Feeling disconnected from your identity (“Who am I, really?”)
- Difficulty trusting your own perceptions or memories
A major “aha” moment for many people is realizing:
“I talk to myself the same way my parent talked to me.”
How Narcissistic Abuse Affects the Body (Not Just the Mind)
One of the most important takeaways from this episode is that trauma doesn’t live only in thoughts—it lives in the body.
Dr. Haworth explains that prolonged emotional stress drains the body’s energy systems, eventually showing up as physical symptoms.
Common Physical and Health-Related Patterns
- Digestive issues, ulcers, IBS
- Chronic headaches or migraines
- Autoimmune and inflammatory conditions
- Fatigue and nervous system dysregulation
- Stress-related illness without a clear medical cause
These symptoms are not “all in your head.” They are adaptive survival responses to long-term emotional threat.
Narcissistic Abuse and Disordered Eating
As both a psychologist and dietitian, I see this connection frequently in my clinical work—and Dr. Haworth confirms it.
How Food Is Often Used as a Tool of Control
- Forced feeding (“You’ll eat what I say, when I say”)
- Withholding food or locking it away
- Criticizing body size or weight
- Confusing mixed messages (shaming weight, then pushing sweets)
Over time, this creates profound disconnection from hunger, fullness, and body trust.
Common Outcomes in Adulthood
- Emotional or binge eating as comfort or dissociation
- Restriction and control as a way to regain safety
- Alcohol use to numb emotional pain
- Chronic guilt or anxiety around food choices
These patterns are not failures of willpower—they are learned survival strategies.
Why Survivors Often Enter Narcissistic Relationships as Adults
One of the most painful realizations for many survivors is recognizing familiar patterns in adult relationships.
Dr. Haworth outlines several early red flags:
Love Bombing
- Intense attention early on
- Fast-tracked intimacy
- Mirroring your values to seem “perfect”
- Creating a sense of “soulmate” connection
Covert Gaslighting
- “You’re too sensitive”
- Denying your lived experiences
- Rewriting shared memories
- Making you doubt your reality
Isolation Tactics
- Subtle criticism of friends and family
- Encouraging “just us against the world”
- Gradually shrinking your support system
For survivors, this often feels familiar—not because it’s healthy, but because it mirrors childhood dynamics.
Why Leaving Isn’t About Weakness
One of the most important points we emphasized in this conversation:
Staying in an abusive relationship is not a character flaw.
Survivors often confuse the love-bombing version of a person with who they truly are. The nervous system clings to moments of safety, especially when early attachment wounds are present.
Understanding this removes shame and opens the door to healing.
The Path Forward: Healing the Whole Person
In Part Two of this conversation, we’ll go deeper into:
- How trauma is stored in the body
- Dr. Haworth’s Whole Person Integration Technique
- Nervous system regulation and identity repair
- Releasing trauma without re-traumatization
Healing from narcissistic abuse isn’t about fixing what’s broken—it’s about reclaiming what was never allowed to fully develop.
Final Takeaway
If any part of this article resonates, know this:
- You’re not imagining it
- You’re not too sensitive
- Your symptoms make sense
Healing is possible—with the right support, compassion, and understanding of how trauma truly works.
🎧 Listen to the full ANEW Insight Podcast episode and stay tuned for Part Two, where we move from insight into embodied healing.
Want to know more, you can visit Dr. Meg Haworth at https://meghaworth.com /, https://www.instagram.com/drmeghaworth /, https://www.facebook.com/chefdrmeghaworth , https://x.com/drmeghaworth/, https://www.youtube.com/user/FreeFoodWithDrMeg, https://www.youtube.com/user/FreeFoodWithDrMeg
Quick FAQs
1) How can I tell if I grew up with narcissistic abuse?
If you grew up feeling unseen, constantly criticized, responsible for a parent’s emotions, or unsure who you really are, those are common signs of narcissistic abuse—even if there was no physical harm.
2) Why do I struggle with people-pleasing and self-doubt as an adult?
People-pleasing is a trauma response learned to stay safe. Over time, it can turn into self-doubt, fear of conflict, and difficulty trusting your own needs or decisions.
3) Can childhood narcissistic abuse affect my health or eating patterns?
Yes. Many survivors experience gut issues, headaches, fatigue, emotional eating, restriction, or weight changes because chronic stress and trauma impact the nervous system and body regulation.
Continue Your Healing Journey
- Course: Deprogram Diet Culture — science-based, trauma-informed healing
➡️ anew-insight.com - Read the full framework
- Book: Deprogram Diet Culture (print, Kindle, Audible)
- Listen to the ANEW Insight Podcast Weekly conversations on psychology, nutrition, trauma, embodiment, and real healing.
View here the full podcast Transcript:
Dr. Supatra Tovar: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome. I am thrilled to have transpersonal psychologist, mind-body medicine practitioner and trauma expert Dr. Meg Haworth with us today, Dr. Meg. Hi.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Hi. I’m so excited for this conversation. Thank you so much for having me here.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Me too. We are gonna delve into healing from trauma in a big way, especially from narcissistic parents and narcissistic abuse, which is a big problem. And I gotta say probably one of the main reasons most people go to therapy. Most people have had this issue and are really struggling and trying to find a way to navigate out of painful childhoods.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: So we’re really gonna get into that. But before we do, I’m gonna read a bit more about Dr. Meg, and then we will delve into our questions. [00:01:00] Dr. Meg Haworth is a Los Angeles based transpersonal psychologist, mind-body medicine practitioner, and she is also a fellow nutrition expert like me, who helps survivors of trauma, especially narcissistic abuse, heal and reclaim their sense of wholeness.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: A survivor of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, and someone who has overcome more than a dozen illnesses. Dr. Meg’s own story of near-death experiences, including a lightning strike, you guys, and drowning you guys has shaped her into a compassionate and intuitive healer. She is the creator of the Whole Person Integration technique,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: a process that helps clients access and release trauma stored in the body, regulate the nervous system, and rebuild authentic identity. Dr. Meg has been featured on [00:02:00] NBC Nightly News, the Los Angeles Times and Hay House Radio, and you guys as the author of eight, count them eight. Books, including the bestseller
Dr. Supatra Tovar: get Well Now. Healing Yourself With Food and The Power of Mind. I’m telling you, you guys, she’s like she and I are on the same wavelength. She also hosts the Toxic Parent Recovery Summit online once a year to help people move beyond pain and recover their agency. Doctor Mag. Yay. Welcome.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Wow. Thank you so much. Yeah it’s always so interesting hearing your own story from someone else.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes. I mean, you you have a prolific background and we have a lot to talk about. I always
Dr. Supatra Tovar: I always,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: because it’s called ANEW Insight, I always want to understand what inspired you, what gave you the insight to dedicate your practice to helping survivors of narcissistic abuse. Obviously [00:03:00] you have your own background.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: If you feel comfortable, tell us what your journey’s been like.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Yeah, absolutely. So, oh my gosh, it’s been a lots of roller, a rollercoaster ride. But growing up with a narcissistic parent is primarily what led me to help other people. It was interesting because I wasn’t publicly doing, talking about this, that I was doing this publicly for a very long time, but of course, people kept coming into my practice that had been through it I, had been through it.
Dr. Meg Haworth: And so I had started building this body of work. until I finally got to this place where I was like, okay, you know what? I’m ready to really talk about this publicly because it’s very difficult, first of all to see your parent as a narcissist. To accept that this is the reality, and then to talk about it
Dr. Meg Haworth: publicly, because of all of the silencing that gets done. The silencing, the shaming, the criticism, of those things. So it’s, it was a lot for me to overcome personally, to [00:04:00] professionally be able to step out there and go, look, hey, I’m a beacon of light for you. I’m here to help you with this particular issue, which is so complex so insidious.
Dr. Meg Haworth: And so that, you know, seeing the results that would happen with my clients inspired me to say, you know what? I can’t keep this under a barrel any longer. I have to get out there and just shine the light.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes, absolutely.
Dr. Meg Haworth: yeah.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: to as much as you feel comfortable, what did you experience as a child? How was your parent or parent? How were your parents narcissistic?
Dr. Meg Haworth: Yeah, so there was a lot of shaming, guilting, very authoritarian household, lots of your, the rules had rules and you didn’t know what the next rule was until the last, the next, the new one was broken. You didn’t even know it was a rule. It was just constant like that. There was a lot of dismissal., Or it’s interesting because narcissistic parents put their kids in specific [00:05:00] roles. They choose them for these roles, and my role tended to be either scapegoat, so I was being blamed for everything because I was the truth teller who would stand up and go, Hey, you did this. And they, if you point out the truth to a narcissist, what’s happening is you’re. are disintegrating or destroying their narrative, their inner narrative that they have to tell themselves, which is a full on fantasy of who they want to project themselves to be, but it’s not who they are.
Dr. Meg Haworth: So there was that, and then I was also, it was either scapegoated or invisible, where I was dismissed, overlooked, neglected. It was, it’s so weird because they’re right on top of you all the time watching your every move so they can tell you what you did wrong. And then at the same time, there’s no emotional connection.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Neglect is massive and it’s all about the narcissistic parent. So we all had to focus on that parent. But they were so good at making it seem like it was [00:06:00] not just them, it was the siblings, because then they pit you against each other inside of the family system. And that was and still is incredibly damaging. Like trying to recover those relationships has been, it’s almost impossible unless each person does work on themselves and is really dedicating to doing that
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Which doesn’t always happen for sure, especially among the narcissistic parent, most especially, but
Dr. Meg Haworth: Yeah.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: really amongst the other siblings because commonly in the family system, you obviously have the scapegoat. The scapegoat. That’s the one who always comes to therapy. That’s what I have really experienced is that this scapegoat, who’s mostly the most sensitive keenly aware, maybe even higher, spiritually minded person, really suffers among a system like this most.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: And when you look at the other siblings, if there are other siblings, there’s usually one or two that are the golden children or child, and they’re the ones who [00:07:00] are treated or projected upon by the narcissistic parent as the good one and then the scapegoat is the black sheep.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: This, I find and there’s a lot of crossover. I find that with children of parents who have borderline personality disorder as well, is that, do you encompass that disorder in your treatment as well?
Dr. Meg Haworth: You know, because as a transpersonal psychologist, it’s not as much about pathology and treatment of disorder. It’s more about what happened to you. What are the signs and symptoms of the abuse that you’re exhibiting, like the low self-esteem, the lack of identity, the. Inability to really connect with your own self-expression, you know, who you are.
Dr. Meg Haworth: It’s sort of answering bigger questions, but in terms of borderline, I do see, because I am aware of course of those that there is a lot [00:08:00] of crossover between those two or co-occurring.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Actually what I meant were mostly what I see are the children
Dr. Supatra Tovar: of parents with perhaps that disorder and.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Yep.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: I think when it comes to borderline, I think it’s, it’s such a pathologized,
Dr. Meg Haworth: It is
Dr. Supatra Tovar: disorder and it really tends to cross over with persistent or chronic PTSD.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Yeah.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: And I would say that, that that would be the disorder that I would more commonly diagnose if I had to diagnose rather than borderline personality disorder.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Certainly, I think the children who are born under parents with that characteristic, they also have narcissistic qualities.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: And that’s what I’m, I’m wondering, so do you see that, that the crossover,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Not just narcissism that we’re seeing, but also potentially borderline or, or the chronic PTSD from the [00:09:00] parent?
Dr. Meg Haworth: Absolutely.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yeah. Go into that a little bit from what you’ve seen.
Dr. Meg Haworth: All of those things are potentially possible because of the complexity of the abuse and the lack of physical scars and the inability to really speak up and say. In fact, you’re silenced again and again. You’re silenced even among your own siblings to not even check out the story that you’re being told. So the complexity of what that creates inside of the individual is it’s enormous. And so all of those things that you’re mentioning the borderline that, really walking between psychosis and neurosis is. And I think part of that is like the abandonment issues that come along with being narcissistically abused by your parent. Where you just, as I was saying before, where you’re neglected emotionally
Dr. Meg Haworth: And they’re not there for you, but you have to be there for them. And it’s a tremendous amount of [00:10:00] responsibility to put on a child. You’ve gotta take care of me. I’m the only one who really matters in the system, so you need to focus on me and my needs.
Dr. Meg Haworth: And so a lot of times, they’ll take on that emotional impact. If you think about what that does, the complexity of the post-trauma responses that you will get from that it’s extraordinary.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes. Most often I see is people pleasing coming from that dynamic.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Yeah.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: you could and I think this will ring a lot of bells with people, if you could just lay out some of the potential symptoms that somebody who has suffered under narcissistic abuse would display, I think it’ll ring a lot of bells with certain people.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: What are the signs and symptoms that you have had a narcissistic abuse pattern in your life?
Dr. Meg Haworth: Yeah, and so it’s a holistic issue, so it can be any one of your holistic systems, mental, emotional, physical, energetic, [00:11:00] spiritual. The whole thing gets affected by this. So things like low self-esteem and basically how you see yourself is really important, but if you’re seeing yourself as you don’t matter. Because this is one of the big things that gets communicated to you when you have a narcissistic parent. You’re not important. You don’t matter. I’m the only one that matters. And so, and that you are not lovable, you’re never gonna get it right ’cause you’re always being thrown in the double bind, that manipulation tactic that they use constantly. The double bind basically being, you can’t get it right. You’re damned if you do, you’re damned if you don’t. So you’ll recognize that you are really hard on yourself. that’s a huge thing that we see the people pleasing that you started to talk about. And what that means too is ’cause it’s wonderful if you have those qualities where you wanna help other people and you genuinely care. But when you’re compromising yourself to make somebody else happy. You’re [00:12:00] used to that
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes.
Dr. Meg Haworth: If you grow up with a narcissistic parent that’s like, that’s, you know, a Tuesday
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes. And I think it’s important to, to distinguish that fawning or people pleasing is a trauma response, and it is, you know, often employed by children who are trying whatever they can to make their environment safe
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Try to feel loved. So I think it’s important to distinguish that. But please continue.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So that that people pleasing perfectionism can be a huge thing that because you don’t ever get it right, you may start something and never complete it. Or be afraid to complete it because you’re also afraid of the criticism that you’re gonna get on the other side of completing that thing. And then because you never get it right, you’re really hard on yourself. That’s a huge thing I see. And. A lot of aha moments with clients where they finally go, oh my gosh, I did not realize I was talking to myself in the exact same way that my narcissistic parent talked [00:13:00] to me. And when they, the light goes on and they say, you know, I’m cruel to me, I horrible things to myself.
Dr. Meg Haworth: I put down myself, I pick myself apart. That’s a huge warning sign that you had a narcissistic parent or somebody. It doesn’t even mean they had the full blown disorder. They may have high narcissistic tendencies, but all of those tactics that they use can potentially make you not have any idea who you are.
Dr. Meg Haworth: That’s another huge thing where you feel like you’re always in this identity crisis. You’re always trying to fit into someone else’s mold rather than. Hey, what’s inside of me? You may not even ever stop to ask yourself that, but that’s such an important thing to do. It’s a part of the healing process, you know, is to stand up and go, Hey, you know, who am I?
Dr. Meg Haworth: Why am I here? What’s the purpose of my life? What do I have to offer the world? Because the thing that doesn’t happen is you don’t get to individuate from the narcissistic parent. I’ll see people in their fifties and [00:14:00] sixties who still have never done that because that parent sees them, sees you as an extension of them. You are like an arm or a leg, you’re a limb, so you should be able to do for them whatever they want you to do, but when you don’t, Just the explosive behaviors that come your way for not showing up the way they told you to, even if you do show up the way they told you to, you’re gonna get it wrong.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Exactly. Oh, so many of the psychological symptoms. So we see people pleasing, inability to complete projects because we’re so concerned and worried. I think a hyper vigilance as well. Just very low self-esteem and, kind of a chronic derogatory way of talking to oneself
Dr. Supatra Tovar: There’s plenty more.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: And then there are like physiological signs as well. What do you tend to see in your practice?
Dr. Meg Haworth: And this is where we really get deep into [00:15:00] what I do, an emotional root cause of illness or symptoms in the body because people tend to get physically ill from narcissistic abuse. And this was my own story,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes, and I, I would love for you to expand upon that because you’ve been through the gamut.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Yeah, you’re not kidding. So, stomach issues a huge thing. People with ulcers. I was just talking to one of my clients today who is, she’s heading in that direction. Because I look at the energy field too, and how the energy is being drained. Emotional energy is powerful, right? Negative emotions have a lot of power to them. And so if you’re being drained from that center of the body where you’re, that’s your center of confidence, your center of self, your center
Dr. Meg Haworth: Who you are, you eventually, you’re. Your biology can’t sustain itself anymore ’cause it doesn’t have enough energy available to you to be able to run your biology, so then you start to [00:16:00] become ill. And so stomach problems, digestive issues, headaches, migraine headaches. This is something I had. And a lot of those have to do with thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that you’re holding. And when something triggers you intothat group of thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. So for instance every time you have a migraine, you’ve actually been triggered into a self-abuse cycle.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Where you believe that you’re not good enough, you did it wrong, you’re self criticizing, you’re putting yourself down internally, and then you end up with this massive stress, headache because you are self abusing. But what you’re really doing is you’re just, you’re turning in the words of the narcissistic parent, that programming I’m not good enough.
Dr. Meg Haworth: I never get it right. You’re turning that in on yourself.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes, I would say too because I treat a lot of disordered eating and eating disorders, I [00:17:00] see a lot of difficulties with eating coming from that. And that can run the entire spectrum of eating disorders from anorexia nervosa where somebody, has experienced just this complete disorganized detachment, narcissistic abuse,
Dr. Meg Haworth: Yeah.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: tend to try to control their environment through in controlling their bodies.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Yep.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Then we go all the way to the other end of the spectrum with binge eating disorders, and I see everything in between coming from narcissistic abuse, but on the binge eating disorder realm. I see a lot of comfort seeking.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: And really just kind of disappearing and just , dissociating out of what they’re experiencing through food.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: You also are interested in, in practicing in nutrition. Do you see that in your practice as well?
Dr. Meg Haworth: All the time. Yeah. It’s such a common thing to see that relationship with food or alcohol is another one, which of course, you know, ’cause a lot of people come to me for, because of weight gain. [00:18:00] And they start to put together, oh, weight and emotions, oh, those are really interconnected and I wanna stop emotionally eating that kind of thing. So yeah, I do see that a lot.
Dr. Meg Haworth: And then it’s interesting too because narcissistic parents can do very strange things with food.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes. Go into that, please. I see that all the time. What are some of the things that they usually do with food that you’re seeing and hearing about in your practice?
Dr. Meg Haworth: You may have been force fed as a child. Many children are force fed by narcissistic parents.
Dr. Meg Haworth: You’re wrong. You wouldn’t be listening to your body and saying, you know what, I’m full and I’m ready to stop. It’s them. So they’re going to, they’re gonna decide how much is enough for you.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Then they may be force feeding. And if you think about the emotional, relationship, you start to develop with food because of that. Another thing they may do is they may cut you down because you’re just weighing too much. Those jeans are really tight on you. You’re really carrying a lot more [00:19:00] weight than you should. And so they may withhold food from you, they’ll withhold the food. And sometimes I’ve seen them lock the food up so they can’t even get to the food. So then now they’re being. It’s all about control, right? Narcissistic abuse is control. And so they’re trying to control how much you get when you get it. I’ve seen that happen. And another thing, you know, they’ll put you down for your weight, even though you’re probably just right.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Oh yeah.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Or maybe even too thin. Then they’ll make brownies and then they’ll come at you with this brownie and put in your face . Come on, just try some, just it’s okay, you can go run it off or whatever. All those confusing messages with the things that they do with food,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes. I’ve seen in some of my clients being weighed and measured in certain times to make sure that they’re in the proper category and things like that. There’s just so many ways that food is used as a weapon or your weight [00:20:00] is used as a weapon with narcissistic parents.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Let’s actually look at narcissistic adults, like people who are getting into these abusive relationships.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: What are some subtle red flags? And maybe not so subtle. ’cause there’s both of, someone who might be being abused by a narcissist in their adult life.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Yeah, so some of them are something called covert gaslighting.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Where the narcissistic person will start to say things. It’s just after you go through that love bombing stage and you’re totally mad about this person who you think is the, like the best fit in the whole world. Like, wow.
Dr. Meg Haworth: You know? And then
Dr. Supatra Tovar: And go into that more. What’s the love bombing? A lot of people don’t understand what that is, and they get sucked into that because they’re not seeing it for what it is. So let’s help people recognize what love bombing is first.
Dr. Meg Haworth: And this can, this would start in the dating phases of the relationship where they tend to move it very quickly and [00:21:00] like, oh my gosh, you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. It was so incredible. And they do this thing called mirroring where they’ll, they’ll ask you a question and then agree with you and tell you exactly that’s exactly what they want. Like, oh, how many kids do you want? Well, I would really love to have two. Really? Me too. Exactly. And so. So you think they’re listening to you and you think that they’re engaging with you and that they’re just like this perfect mirror image of you you’re just like, wow, I finally found my soulmate.
Dr. Meg Haworth: This is incredible. We’re so aligned in every single area, which is not a realistic relationship. It feels really good, and so they get you really hooked in and then they start to do things like covert gaslighting where they’ll say things like. You are just too sensitive,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: That’s the number one thing I hear. Keep going.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Just too sensitive or make you doubt your reality by so you’re sharing a story, like the story of how you met, oh no, it didn’t happen like [00:22:00] that. So they’ll put down what you’re sharing, but not only that, they may completely say that what you’re sharing, that never happened.
Dr. Meg Haworth: I don’t know. That never happened. And so then you start doubting your reality. And that’s something that they want you to do is to doubt your reality because that helps them to gain and maintain control over you ’cause that’s the number one thing that a narcissistic person wants and needs to do. Then they’re just wearing away at you, one cut at a time where you start to think, Am I crazy? Did that really happen? And then they isolate you and they start doing that by, like you’re out at a party. You’ve met your friends for the first time. You’re, you’d have a really great time.
Dr. Meg Haworth: You thought you get in the car on the way home. And they’re like, he’s like. I don’t know about that one friend of yours, did you notice how she blah, blah, blah? And so then they start cutting down your [00:23:00] friends, and so then they’re trying to isolate you. And then you may feel like, at first you’ll feel like, oh wow, just us and what a beautiful thing we’re forming together, that we get to be so close.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Just the two of us, no one understands us, and that kind of thing. So you get into this sort of dreamy fantasy world that they create and then, but then they start taking you out of your world that you had already created,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes I think that, when we look at the honeymoon phase, that is the most intoxicating part of the relationship and why people will tend to stay in these narcissistic, abusive relationships because they equate the person in the honeymoon phase as that person rather than the abusive person. And the abuse, like you said, can run from anything from gaslighting, isolating,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: cutting you down, wearing away your self-esteem to even [00:24:00] physical and further emotional abuse. But as soon as the love bombing starts again, the person is intoxicated again. And they tend to think, well, this is just who he is. And that, the other times, no, that’s not really him. He was just under stress.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: You tend to make excuses, and I think we need to look at that with no judgment at all.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Usually a person who might fall into that may have experienced that in childhood, and that might be what feels familiar and feels right. Oh my gosh, I can’t even believe we’re out of time for this half. I haven’t even asked the questions I really wanna ask.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: So we’re gonna come back for part two because we really wanna get into the Whole Person Technique.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Want to get more into the body.
Dr. Meg Haworth: Yeah.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: How the body is you know, trauma is stored in the body and how we can help people release that stored trauma. So you guys, you gotta come back. This is an incredibly insightful episode where we’re learning about [00:25:00] narcissistic abuse and how we can navigate ourselves out of this.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: So Dr. Meg will come join me again. Yeah?
Dr. Meg Haworth: Yes, absolutely.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Okay. Thank you guys for tuning in and tune in for the second half of this incredible interview with transpersonal psychologist, mind-body medicine practitioner and trauma expert Dr. Meg Haworth.
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