What happens when you mix unfiltered honesty, a touch of mischief, and decades of lived experience into a podcast? You get Robin Hopkins—a force of wit, wisdom, and wholehearted storytelling.
In this episode of the ANEW Insight Podcast, Dr. Supatra Tovar sits down with award-winning writer, producer, comedian, and host of the Well…Adjusting podcast, Robin Hopkins, for a raw, hilarious, and deeply moving conversation about growing up with chaos, using humor to survive it, and transforming pain into purpose.
1. From Commercial Dreams to Comic Stages
Robin’s creative journey began in upstate New York as a child who thought commercials were made in Syracuse. That innocent belief ignited a lifelong passion for performance. Ironically, it was fear of emotional vulnerability not stage fright that led her to stand-up comedy before acting. “I was willing to fail in front of people as a comic rather than access my own emotions,” she jokes. But that stage became her training ground for writing, performing, and eventually producing stories that are both deeply personal and universally resonant.
2. Laughing to Survive: Humor as a Coping Skill
Growing up in a home shaped by addiction and emotional volatility, Robin learned early that humor could disarm tension. Whether it was diffusing chaos at home or cracking jokes about her weight before anyone else could, Robin used laughter as both armor and offering. “If I can joke about it first,” she explained, “then you don’t get to take the power from me.” That comedic reflex, which she now sees echoed in her own son, evolved into a finely tuned tool for connection, reflection, and even self-worth.
3. The Therapy Chair as a Sacred Space
Robin credits her growth to two key things: her therapist Patricia (shout out!) and her willingness to do the hard, ongoing work of self-examination. A pivotal moment came not from a quick fix but from realizing she’d be on a lifelong journey of self-work. “I made a commitment to work on myself forever,” she says. And that commitment reshaped everything—her willingness to be uncomfortable, her openness to therapy, and her capacity to let others in.
4. Turning Pain into Podcast Gold
Robin’s acclaimed podcast Well…Adjusting and her Substack Shit I Learned From My Crappy Childhood are born from that exact philosophy. She’s not interested in polished perfection or prescriptive advice. Instead, she creates space for honest messiness, inviting guests to unpack their own struggles while she shares hers. From parenting to body image to career confusion, no topic is off limits. And it’s not about being the expert it’s about asking the right questions with heart and humor.
5. Jokes Are Healing, Too
Dr. Tovar and Robin explore the therapeutic power of laughter. Robin’s podcast, much like a therapy session, offers validation, insight, and space to feel seen often between belly laughs. “Laughter and joy,” Dr. Tovar reflects, “are some of the highest spiritual states we can experience.” And Robin’s work invites listeners to access those states not by ignoring their pain, but by integrating it with gentleness and grit.
6. From Steel Magnolias to Self-Worth
One of Robin’s favorite emotional blueprints comes from a Steel Magnolias scene where grief collapses into laughter at a funeral. That moment, she says, encapsulates the human experience. Whether it’s at a wake or on a podcast, those in-between spaces where sorrow meets joy are where true connection lives. And that’s what Well…Adjusting is about: holding both the pain and the punchline.
7. Why Growth Isn’t a Destination
Robin challenges the notion that self-improvement is about fixing what’s broken. Instead, she invites us to think in terms of circuits and switches. Sometimes the wiring from childhood can’t be undone, but we can reroute the current. Healing, she suggests, is less about erasing the past and more about building new pathways around it.
8. Mindfulness, Messiness, and Joy
In a moving moment, Robin describes a podcast exercise where she and her producer, Steph, sent daily voice memos of what brought them joy. Her struggle to identify joy even while searching for it was a breakthrough. “Why am I putting the bar for joy so high?” she asked. Sometimes joy isn’t in grand gestures, but in feeling grass underfoot or laughing with a friend. That mindfulness of being present with what is revealed that joy isn’t elusive, just overlooked.
9. Self-Help Without the Pedestal
Robin doesn’t claim to be a therapist, but her listeners would argue otherwise. She brings a rare mix of emotional intelligence, lived experience, and comedic timing that makes self-help feel human. “We’re not talking down to anyone,” she says. “We’re all just doing the best we can.” Her podcast offers gentle accountability, comic relief, and a powerful reminder: you’re not alone in your mess—and it doesn’t need to be cleaned up to be shared.
10. A Love Letter to Imperfection
Robin’s closing message is this: “We’re not here to be perfect. We’re here to keep going.” Whether through therapy, humor, or simply naming the hard stuff out loud, growth happens when we give ourselves permission to adjust, not arrive. In a world obsessed with fixing, Well…Adjusting gives us space to simply be—and maybe laugh while we’re at it.
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View the full podcast Transcript here:
Dr. Supatra Tovar: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the ANEW Insight podcast. I’m Dr. Supatra Tovar and I am very excited and I cannot wait. I have award winning writer, producer, and host of the Well…Adjusting podcast, Robin Hopkins, with us today. Robin, thanks so much for joining us.
Robin Hopkins: I’d listen, any, any place that’ll have me, I show up.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yay,
Robin Hopkins: So thank you.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: so excited. I’m going to read a little bit about Robin and then I am going to pick her brain. Robin Hopkins is an award winning actor, writer, producer, and podcast host. She began her career as a stand up comedian in New York City, performing at renowned venues such as Caroline’s, Comic Strip Live, Gotham Comedy Club, and Stand Up New York.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Her acting credits include appearances on television shows like Boardwalk Empire, Louie, [00:01:00] and Hindsight. As a writer, Robin has contributed to publications like HuffPost and Medium, and her television writing includes work for VH1’s Big Morning Buzz Live and Divas, as well as MTV’s Teen Mom Reunion Special and O Music Awards.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: She is also the coauthor of the book if These Ovaries Could Talk: The Things We’ve Learned About Making an LGBTQ Family, which explores the journeys of LGBTQ individuals in creating their families. Robin hosts the podcast Well…Adjusting and Dear Headspace. Welcome Robin to the podcast. I’m so excited that you’re here.
Robin Hopkins: Thanks for having me. I’m super excited to be here too.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Wonderful. So I would love to know about your journey as an actor and then how it has evolved into writing and podcasting. What is your [00:02:00] inspiration?
Robin Hopkins: Oh, geez. I mean, like I, I remember when I was like, God, it must have been like second or third grade. And I was, I lived in upstate New York and I asked my mom if we could go to Syracuse cause I thought that’s where the commercials were made. And I was like, I have to, I have to do this. By the way, I don’t think commercials were made in Syracuse, but I was really, I was really firm on that.
Robin Hopkins: Cause that was the big town that was near us. So it’s like, I’ve it’s something I’ve always, always, always wanted to do. What’s weird is that I kind of like, Backdoored into acting, like I started as a standup mostly because I was more afraid of acting, which, you know, is kind of a very weird thing and probably says a lot about my brain that I was willing to stand up in front of people and fail miserably and be like, well, that was a joke but not willing to show my emotions.
Robin Hopkins: So I’m sure that says a lot about my psyche. And then, you know, but I think that starting off as a standup, like you don’t, you You have to write your own material and that started me on the journey of being a writer is that when I left stand up one of the things I realized I missed was my voice, [00:03:00] was being able to like have an opinion and a viewpoint on on an issue or a thought or about something personal to me and then find something interesting and unique to say about it.
Robin Hopkins: And that kind of just started me on my journey. It’s like I did the very. New York nineties thing. It’s like, I did a one woman show, wrote my field, you know, it’s like you do all the things. And it just, it just kind of snowballed and I just kept going. And I got to a point now where all of the 8 million different jobs I’ve had are kind of have coalesced into one thing.
Robin Hopkins: It’s like where I became a producer and a writer and an actor and a podcaster, and it just kind of all, it all came together and made sense at some point, but it was not a straight path. Let’s just say that. Yeah. There’s a gay joke in there, but we’re going to let that go just, just cause, and I’m gay. So I can say that
Dr. Supatra Tovar: That’s right. Of course. I think that’s so interesting. What do you think it was about accessing emotions that was scary to you at first?
Robin Hopkins: [00:04:00] Well, they weren’t necessarily very safe in my in my childhood. You know, it’s like I had, I had a couple of parents were both drinkers and there was just a lot of like explosive, explosive emotions in my house, especially between my mom and I, we were very, very similar. And there was like the whole, like there’s this running joke in the family of like, I’d go in my room and slam the door and then she would open the door and say, don’t you dare slam that door.
Robin Hopkins: And then she’d slam the door and then I didn’t slam the door. And then I would slam the door. You know, it was like, we just were always screaming at each other. And then, you know, later as things kind of went along, there would be these things that would happen, not good things. And, you know, because of drinking or whatever.
Robin Hopkins: And then the next day we just. Would never talk about them. And I think it created this kind of environment of like, it’s not necessarily safe and it’s, and it’s, and I also felt very much like, I’ll take care of everything. I’ll take care of all the things and I’ve got this. And that to me always meant for a very long time, it meant you keep that, [00:05:00] you keep that to yourself until it’s clean and you could share it as a life lesson for someone else,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Wow.
Robin Hopkins: Which is kind of hilarious. Like,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yeah.
Robin Hopkins: like it
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Powerful.
Robin Hopkins: Yeah, it’s, it’s, it’s, it was a great, power, but I didn’t have any choice in it and it
Dr. Supatra Tovar: No.
Robin Hopkins: I had to get choice. I had to be able to understand when I could or should share or when it was okay to keep it to myself. But that took a lot of, a lot of work.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: And I think there is a safety, even though I stand up scares the crap out of me. I don’t know how you do it. Cause I feel like it’s so
Robin Hopkins: Well I don’t Thank anymore. Thank God.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: it exposes you, you know, to them and you can’t like hide behind a character. You have to present yourself, although you may present a character, but I think that there is a superpower that’s often
Dr. Supatra Tovar: formed out of traumatic childhoods, and that’s the ability to use humor
Robin Hopkins: Absolutely.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: to cope, [00:06:00] to get through it. And did you find yourself using that? In your childhood growing up?
Robin Hopkins: I, well, I was always, I was always in trouble. Like always, like, just cause I was, had a smart mouth. Like I just, I just, my mom used to say there’s just, there’s the line, Robin, and you just have to step right over it. And she wasn’t wrong.
Robin Hopkins: Like I was always like tiptoeing right up to it, but you know, it’s like, you know, there’s a thing with like funny that it’s just, I think of almost like, it’s like the universe or somebody like in the way that like songwriters are like, I didn’t, the joke, the song just came right through me. That’s how I feel about jokes.
Robin Hopkins: Sometimes it’s like, it’s just there. I did not just, it’s there before I could even think to be like, what would be a funny thing to say right now? It just comes in and I. It took me many, many years to, to understand that sometimes you can’t say that thing.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yeah.
Robin Hopkins: You have to—not right now, Robin, not right now. You do that later. Like, you know, and it’s funny cause I’m, I’m, I’m going to whisper, but I’m watching my son go [00:07:00] through it now. He’s in the other room gaming, so I’m just to be a little quiet about it. He’d be mad if he knew I was talking about him, but yeah, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s but it’s like, I’m watching him try to find the line now.
Robin Hopkins: And it’s, it’s very natural to him. And it’s like, you know, it’s just, it’s a way to make people like you, if your self esteem is low, it’s a way to, there’s like a win in it. know, it’s like, it’s, you know, acting is just, just stripped down thing of like, can I, go into this space. Can I play as this idea of a person? Whereas this is like a game. There’s like a, there’s like a, almost like a drug type feeling to it of like, not, not that I’ve done drugs. If my kids are listening. you know, it’s like, there’s, there’s this, like, can, like, I, like, I could be making a whole room of people laugh if there was one person with a stank face, I’m only going to watch them.
Robin Hopkins: And I’m just like, I will get that mother to laugh. Like, I will make them, you know, it was like, and it was like, and you didn’t feel like you did good unless you made that one person like, you know, there’s like a whole obsessive, like thing around it. It’s, it’s, [00:08:00] it’s. weird and exciting and fun. And it’s like, still like, I don’t do it on a stage, but it’s one of my favorite things to do is like to just go into a story and get somebody to laugh.
Robin Hopkins: Like,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Oh,
Robin Hopkins: like, I’m always like just reading everybody’s face going, can I get them? Can I get them?
Dr. Supatra Tovar: I love that. And I think it’s like a power you develop. Did you find yourself I mean, in your home life as chaotic as it was did you find that making a joke in a certain moment actually diffused some of the tension or did you find yourself making a joke later with friends to cope with what you just saw?
Robin Hopkins: That’s such an interesting question. I don’t think anybody’s ever asked me that. Don’t. I, I do think that sometimes there was like jokes to kind of like lighten the mood for sure, like, cause you know, I think when you grew up in a house where there’s addiction, there’s always an undercurrent and I, that you become very aware of and you’re in tune to the emotion of the house and what’s going on. [00:09:00] And so there was definitely like moments of that. I definitely used it for say, like, you know, I, I’ve struggled with weight. Oh, like gain 60 pounds. I’ve lost 60 pounds. You know, it’s like, like, I always say that my, my food stuff is like, I’m just glad it didn’t show up for booze for me, the way it did for my parents.
Robin Hopkins: And it’s just more like a coping thing for me or kind of a something. We’ll get into that later, I guess, probably, maybe let’s not. But just kidding, just kidding. But it’s, you know, like I, I would be, I would make a fat joke before someone else could, like, I’ll take the power out of it. If, if I can, if like, it’s my joke, it’s not yours. So I, there’s definitely like ways that I used it. know, all throughout, even just to like, be like, can I, I’m feeling like insecure. Maybe this’ll, maybe I can get people to like me this way, you know, in, in new situations. But so it can be a good thing, just like anything. If you, if you have choice in it, it’s a good thing.
Robin Hopkins: If [00:10:00] you don’t, it’s often not.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Right, did you find yourself like winning people over and increasing your self esteem as you went along as you kind of discovered this power?
Robin Hopkins: I think any of the self esteem work I did was really outside of that. I think that that helped me like find my chosen family. That helped me just also just like. It’s one of like, laughing is one of my favorite things to do in life. I just think about people who don’t, not that you don’t, not that you have to be funny, but that people don’t appreciate funny.
Robin Hopkins: I’m just like, what do you do all day? This is like, that just seems so serious. And, and life is so hard. Like I love laughing, you know, laughing with my friends is possibly one of my favorite things in the world to do, you know, just to like, when you have that, it’s such a connection and so. You know, so I it was part of it, but I feel like in order, like building up my self esteem was something I had to do on my own. It was something I had to do like in therapy and in self help [00:11:00] workshops and, and just figuring out why, why did I believe that my value wasn’t, wasn’t enough or that I wasn’t worth what I believe I am today, if that makes sense.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: And do you feel like that work that you did enhanced maybe the work that you’re doing now? Because if you look at, you know, your podcast, you’re covering parenting, career struggles, all of this, especially with humor and honesty. So did all of that self help work fuel what you cover in your podcast?
Robin Hopkins: Yes, I think it all just like kind of coalesced. Like I, I think there’s no, if you, Oh my God. If you, one of my, one of my favorite movies, I mean, is it a favorite movie? It’s I it’s a movie I love the one with Sally Fields and Dolly Parton’s in it. And
Robin Hopkins: Steel Magnolias
Robin Hopkins: Oh, yes.
Robin Hopkins: Okay. So there’s that. Beautiful, beautiful moment where Sally Field is crying over the loss of her daughter and she’s sobbing and Olympia [00:12:00] Dukakis grabs is her name? Shirley McLean. And it’s like, Hit Weezer, you know, and it’s like, and then they all are howling, you know, and you’re going from laughing to crying. I love whether it’s writing, Or whether it’s in the podcast or whether it’s in talking to people, like I love creating moments because I think that’s the human experience.
Robin Hopkins: Like how many times have you been after a funeral that you’re all sitting around, like, I don’t know, like eating weird, weird finger foods that people dropped off at a, at a VFW hall and you’re sitting there and you’re, you’re making jokes because it’s like you’re in the midst of, and then there’ll be a serious moment.
Robin Hopkins: And I just think that is what that’s like, that’s all that life is about to me is just those moments of like hardship and funny and the, and the growth and the journey. So, you know, like, so Well…Adjusting my podcast came out of that idea. Like I, I have a Sub Stack as well. Like, I love to say that I I’m on all the platforms that no one asked me to be on. [00:13:00] Like, I, like, I’m like, no one asked me to do any of this, but here I am like. Listen to my podcast, read my Sub Stack. So the sub stack is called Shit I Learned From My Crappy Childhood and that was the impetus for creating the Well…Adjusting podcast too, was just this idea of, I don’t have a single accredited accreditation, like I’m not, I’m not an MFA, I’m not an LSW.
Robin Hopkins: I’m not a PhD. I got nothing. I got nothing but a communications degree, but I have all this life experience and that I’ve lived. And I have this. I don’t know if it’s just me, if I’m just like, you know, a 75 year old accountant trapped in my body, but like any job I’ve had, like, I’ll just be sitting on a couch and all the young people just come over and they’re like, can you tell me what to do with my 401k?
Robin Hopkins: And I’m like, absolutely sit down. I got a spreadsheet for you. You know, it’s like, I, I once like there was a guy on my floor who his landlord didn’t give him back his security deposit. I said, absolutely not. I said, give me the phone. And I pretended to be his lawyer. I [00:14:00] called up, got a security deposit.
Robin Hopkins: I was like, this is some bullshit. I was like, let’s get your money back. So it’s like, I just, there’s something about like being with people and like laughing and being helpful. And it all came together in this podcast. Where like someone gets to come in and and I’m not going to be like, here is your path forward. You are healed. But what I am going to do is we’re going to chat and then hopefully at the end of it, you’re going to go. Wow. I didn’t I didn’t think of that. And then we’ll go. Here’s some homework. Go find someone who could help you with that.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Oh, I love it.
Robin Hopkins: because
Dr. Supatra Tovar: that.
Robin Hopkins: Because it’s like when, when we’re in a problem, if you’re in a problem alone, I think it’s hard to see things
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm hmm.
Robin Hopkins: I can, I can have a full blown discussion with me and all of my 17 different personalities about why it’s right or wrong.
Robin Hopkins: And I can argue every viewpoint and then I could just be stuck,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm hmm.
Robin Hopkins: But the idea of someone else just. you go, you know, you’ve said that 10 times, you’re like, what’s going on with your mom. You know, I think that sometimes that’s just really [00:15:00] helpful and it’s, and we try to do it in a fun and funny way, because again, I just think that’s important.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Absolutely.
Robin Hopkins: We can talk about your trauma, but funny, like.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Well, I gotta say, Robin, that’s not that different from what you do in therapy
Robin Hopkins: Right?
Dr. Supatra Tovar: as a therapist.
Robin Hopkins: for Except with jokes.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Well, I mean, I love using humor in my therapy. I think that that’s like one of the most effective things that I can do with my clients is, you know, find that moment and, and make them laugh or make them think about it in a different way or, you know, just, just, Just crack a joke and you see it on their faces how that actually helps to heal them.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: And I do think that laughter and joy is probably the highest spiritual state you can be in. So, you know, the fact that you’re facilitating that I think that makes you kind of a natural therapist. So give me, give me.
Robin Hopkins: I should probably go to school though if I was going to say this. I’m, I’m honest
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yeah.
Robin Hopkins: say I’m only just here to like ask some questions. That’s what I like to say.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yeah. And I love that. [00:16:00] And I don’t think you need to go to school. I think what you’re doing is amazing. So keep doing it because it is helping people. Give, give me a picture too, of like one personal experience that taught you the most about adjusting to life’s challenges. Hmm.
Robin Hopkins: I
Robin Hopkins: It would have to be therary..
Robin Hopkins: In general, I mean, it would, it would just would have to be, I got this lovely lady named Patricia. Shout out to Patricia, who like I try to leave sometimes and I always come back like, what’s up, Patricia, we doing? Should we, should we get in there for a couple, every other week for a while? I, I would have to be that, but I mean, because out of that, I think I would in equal parts. I would say I did this one self help workshop and in hindsight, I think it was a little culty. So I, I’m not going to say anybody should do like, cause sometimes I’ve found myself in places where I’m like, is a van going to come pick me up?
Robin Hopkins: I’m like, I, I hope not. But the end of it, like I went in being like, Oh, there’s just these two [00:17:00] issues. If I can just get some movement on these two issues, of course, one of them was food and the other one was was a deeper issue. And I was like, I just get some clarity or heal these, then I will be good. And when I came out, I did not, I did not heal them and I didn’t get taken into the cult, thankfully. But what I did come out thinking was. I made a commitment to work on myself forever. Like it was just something clicked that like, it’s not like I, like they love to say in 12 step programs, you, you, you brush your teeth every single day.
Robin Hopkins: You don’t like, you don’t assume that brushing your teeth yesterday is helping you today. You got to brush teeth today also. And I, that’s how I think about self help and growth. Like I am. In part, I think because I, you know, I lost both my parents, you know, I know my mom never got better and I had to watch her slowly deteriorate and I just don’t ever want that for myself.
Robin Hopkins: I want to be here for my kids and I want to, I want to find just. [00:18:00] A little more joy every day, if I can, if I’m able to, you know, just like a little bit more. And I just, that commitment, I think changed everything. Cause then out of that, I was willing to, I was willing to put myself in uncomfortable conversations and therapy.
Robin Hopkins: I was willing to do workshops. I was willing to talk about things that I would not have been comfortable talking about before. I was willing to let people in. I was ish, I was willing to do work. And I, I think that, I think that change might be, I think Patricia probably came out of, let me talking about Patricia, like she’s in the next room.
Robin Hopkins: Like I got a hotline to her. She’s probably so creeped out when she hears me on podcast talking about her. She’s probably like you. We could use some boundaries. But but you know, it’s like, I do think that she came out of that idea that I was like, oh, I gotta, this is, I need, I can’t do this alone.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Absolutely. I think most people,
Robin Hopkins: give it, I did give it a college effort.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes. [00:19:00] And I’m sure Patricia’s like, when she hears you talking about her, she made such a difference. Maybe she’s a little creeped out, but she’s like, yay. But I think that a lot of people go into therapy and I can see this with people coming into my, my office thinking that they have to fix themselves.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: And I love that you are couching this as it’s like, you know, it’s progress. It’s, there’s no fixing. You’re always moving towards something. How do you encourage your listeners to maybe embrace more imperfection while striving for their growth? What are ways that you encourage them to do that?
Robin Hopkins: Well, I think one of the, the biggest ways is that me and producer Steph, we are out there just airing our laundry. We are just like high fiving our guests because we’re like, we, you know, we always love to make the joke. We’re like, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Meanwhile, I did that earlier today. Like, it’s like, you know, I see so much of myself in them [00:20:00] in, in the growth. And it’s like, I just, you know, I just want to create a space where people feel like no, one’s talking down to them. We’re just like all in this mess together and like, Hey, if, if this conversation, it’s going to help me just by having it with you, but if it also helps you too, that’s great.
Robin Hopkins: And so I think, I think that is really an important space in the show is like that people know coming in that we’re just there, like we’re idiots, we’re idiots, we’re just doing the best we can. And we’re going to, we’re going to assign ourselves homework. Just like we’re, you know, like there’s like, my dad used to always say like, cause he had a crazy work ethic and he would just say, I never would ever ask anybody to do anything I wouldn’t be willing to do myself. And I, I thought of that, like when I managed to write, I’ve had like 8, 000 jobs in my life. Like I managed a restaurant at one point and I was like, look, if I got my books done and you’re behind, I’ll come help on the bathroom. It’s like, I’m not above you. I’m not like, we’re like, we just, we all want to get out of the door.
Robin Hopkins: [00:21:00] You know, we all want to close up, lock the door and go home. I think about like help like that too. Like I I’m willing to share my junk to be like, if it helps you see something, I’m willing to do the same work that I’m asking of you. Like we’ve done, I feel like Steph and I’ve gotten to do some really cool things.
Robin Hopkins: Like there was one person. I feel like the episode was called like, where is my joy? And at the, as a wrap up, instead of having an expert of the day, we did a thing where Steph and I for a week sent each other voice memos of, of one moment of joy each day. And I was having like a challenging time. Like I, I, I didn’t find out.
Robin Hopkins: I was like, thinking about getting on Lexapro and I was, which by the way, led me to a psychiatrist who ran blood work. Turned out I had celiac disease, which I just found all this out in December.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Wow. Mm. Yes.
Robin Hopkins: Since I’ve gone gluten free my mood is significantly better,which is like insanity on stilts. That was the sidebar, but. My, my point is, is that like, I was struggling to find joy and my voice memos were like sad [00:22:00] clown. They were just like, I don’t know. I was thought my joy would come at this party. It was going today, but it was weird. I guess my job. And then like, by contrast, Steph was like, out on the streets of London and there’s a lovely rain coming down and I feel delightful.
Robin Hopkins: And I was like, Ooh, I was like Eeyore, but it was, there was something so wonderful in asking ourselves to do this exercise. I was like, wow, I’m struggling right now. And that’s, was interesting to see and interesting to see like what. What ideas I had about what joy had to be, what it looked like and what, like, what can’t joy just be like, I felt the grass on my feet hearing Steph, you know, hearing Steph talk about that was like, Oh shit, what am I doing? Like, why, why am I putting the bar up here? So it’s like, I just think there’s something lovely. I don’t know if the audience gives a crap that we’re doing it, but I love that we’re all doing it. And that we’re all in this together. I mean,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yeah,
Robin Hopkins: that was a very long answer to your question,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: but it’s,
Robin Hopkins: it.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: I mean, absolutely. And I think [00:23:00] that you know, that’s one thing that I help my clients with in my practice is being mindful. And that’s exactly what she was being in London. She was like, Oh, I am observing right now. And right now it’s raining and it’s really nice actually. And she was just in the moment.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: And I think so often we’re not in the moment we’re in the past or in the future, where we’re both. That is, I think, something that people don’t have that awareness of. And they also have a lot of misconceptions about. And so I’m wondering for you in, in all of the conversations that you had, what are some of the misconceptions that you have found about self improvement, that you’ve come across?
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes.
Robin Hopkins: Well one that you already touched on which is you can be fixed. and I, I think that extends to that. Like I, I, I, it extends to at least for me, I don’t want to make this a sweeping generalization that like, as I understand [00:24:00] myself, like some wires were created. Whether they were, you know, like, like lines were like, there was an electrician in my body and, and like things were hooked up and they may be hooked up like that forever.
Robin Hopkins: And maybe certain lines are not great ones. Like, like when, when that one is fired, I’m doing like I’m eating a Snickers bar in a closet because I don’t like what I’m feeling. But just because I can’t get in there and unhook the wires doesn’t mean. can’t work to, I, like, I love in my head, the image of like, do you remember in like sixth grade when you would like make an electrical circuit?
Robin Hopkins: And it was like, you cross the thing, it created a current could, you know, the metal touched and it created a current and the electricity flowed, I like the idea of circumventing it, like that little switcher to stop the current so that it like runs off to another path, that’s a more positive one and, you know, and [00:25:00] so I, I think. Just, you know, that you can’t be fixed, but like you can maybe you can maybe like circumvent. I think that would probably be the biggest misconception. I have, I think, I think, yeah, I think that’s what I would say.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yeah. And I would agree with you that I think a lot of people do feel like there is something inherently wrong with them. And I think that that’s a misconception. I think that people have had a lot of wrong done to them. They’ve witnessed a lot of wrong. They’ve been told a lot of things that have made them doubt themselves.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: And I think it’s so important for people to really delve inside and figure out who they actually really are aside from what everyone else has told them. And then when they actually realize that they realize that they actually don’t need fixing. And that’s, that’s powerful. And so we’re going to delve into some of this [00:26:00] more in the next half of this podcast, but we’re actually out of time for this half.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: I can’t even believe it. It’s just flown by, but stay tuned. Yes. And I love it. Thank you so much for joining us and tune in next time for the second half of this amazing interview with award winning writer, producer, and podcast host of the Well…Adjusting Podcast, Robin Hopkins. Thanks Robin.
Robin Hopkins: Thank you.
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