How do you build a family when the world tells you it should look a certain way? And what happens when you dare to do it differently with intention, vulnerability, and a whole lot of humor? In this episode of the ANEW Insight Podcast, Dr. Supatra Tovar returns for part two of her heart-expanding conversation with writer, comedian, and podcast host Robin Hopkins.
Together, they unpack the beautiful complexity of queer parenthood, healing internalized shame, and why laughing through the mess is one of the most radical acts of resilience we can practice.
- A Living Room, a Blender, and the Birth of a Book
Robin’s groundbreaking book, If These Ovaries Could Talk: The Things We’ve Learned About Making an LGBTQ Family, wasn’t born in a publishing house or pitch meeting it started in her living room. Over cocktails and heartfelt conversations, Robin found herself guiding other queer couples through the labyrinth of parenthood: sperm banks, legal docs, insurance nightmares, and everything in between.
Those living room “seminars” turned into a podcast, which eventually evolved into a book—a roadmap layered with real stories of LGBTQ+ family creation. More than a manual, it’s a memoir of intention. As Robin puts it: “No kid is more wanted than the ones we have to fight to bring into this world.”
- Creating Family with Intention and Without Apology
Robin gave birth to both of her children using different donors, making them half-siblings by biology but full siblings in every sense that matters. Her wife shares no genetic tie to their kids, yet Robin says, “You’d never know that.” Love, not DNA, built their family. And through every challenge, from navigating donor conversations to confronting her own internalized homophobia, Robin remained fiercely committed to modeling pride, not secrecy.
“Not being proud of who I was wasn’t just hurting me anymore,” she reflects. “If I couldn’t model self-love, what was I handing my kids?”
- Storytelling as a Healing Practice
Robin is a natural-born storyteller, whether on stage, in print, or across podcast airwaves. But her gift isn’t just delivery it’s her ability to make others feel seen. “When someone says, ‘That’s me too,’” she explains, “that’s the great human connector.”
From writing HuffPost pieces about parenting mishaps to sharing raw moments on her Substack, Robin believes storytelling is a form of activism. It’s how we find belonging. It’s how we heal what shame tried to silence.
- Talking About the Hard Stuff Out Loud
Robin doesn’t shy away from topics some people would rather whisper about: infertility, donor conception, family difference, weight stigma, and internalized bias. She talks about all of it—not to be provocative, but because silence never saved anyone.
Her daughter once pointed at random men on the street and said, “That’s my daddy.” Instead of brushing it off, Robin and her wife used that moment to tell their child the truth in age-appropriate, compassionate ways. “Each time we explained,” Robin says, “we grew more comfortable too.”
- The Practice of Listening to Your Inner Voice
When asked what advice she’d give to people struggling with where to start their healing journey, Robin’s answer is simple: “Just start.” Do the one thing you don’t want to do: email a therapist, pack a gym bag, tell a friend you need help.
And above all, listen to your inner voice. That quiet whisper inside? It’s never steered her wrong. “The more I practice listening to it,” she says, “the louder it gets. And the easier it is to trust.”
- Tiny Actions, Big Impact
Robin and Dr. Tovar share a mutual belief: healing doesn’t happen through massive, sweeping changes. It begins with the smallest act. Ten minutes of movement. A moment of silence. Saying the thing out loud. And when in doubt? Start smaller.
“People think they need an hour to work out,” says Dr. Tovar, “but even stretching for ten minutes can change your day.” Robin agrees, adding that her biggest growth came not from discipline, but from community. Her accountability partners keep her grounded, whether they’re writing quietly over Zoom or syncing up on a Peloton ride.
- Growth Isn’t Linear, It’s Messy and Communal
Robin has hosted countless guests on her podcast, Well…Adjusting, but the conversations that stay with her aren’t the ones with broad appeal. They’re the intimate ones. The ones where people show up as they are. “When you go broad,” she explains, “you speak to no one. But in specificity, you reach everyone.”
Healing, she reminds us, doesn’t require a roadmap it requires courage to show up for the next conversation.
- Loving the Body You’re In (Even Just a Little)
Robin openly shares her lifelong struggles with body image, food, and weight. What helps her now isn’t willpower—it’s acceptance. “Sometimes I can only love my body three days out of ten,” she laughs. “But that’s better than it used to be.”
Her honesty is a balm for anyone trapped in cycles of shame. “You’re not broken,” she says. “You’re not alone. And that voice in your head telling you otherwise? That’s not the one you should be listening to.”
- The Healing Power of Community and Comedy
Whether she’s cracking jokes about putting her underwear on backwards or dropping wisdom about queer parenting, Robin shows us that vulnerability and humor aren’t opposites—they’re siblings. They help us find our way.
“We’re all messed up,” she says. “And that brings me comfort. Because if we can be open about our mess, we can hold space for each other to grow.”
- Keep Showing Up (And Maybe Laugh Along the Way)
Robin doesn’t pretend to have it all figured out. But she’s committed to growth, to honesty, and to telling the truth even when it’s messy. Especially when it’s messy.
“We’re not here to be perfect,” she says. “We’re here to keep going.”
Want to know more about Robin Hopkins? Here are his social media channels: https://www.robinhopkins.org/, https://www.instagram.com/realrobhops/?hl=en, https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRDKsrEdGF4MwYhOUvl98nQ, https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-hopkins-564813101, https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/well-adjusting/id1649386566
🎧 Listen to the full episode of the ANEW Insight Podcast featuring Robin Hopkins
📺 Watch on YouTube: @my.anew.insight
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📘 Start your healing journey with Dr. Tovar’s bestselling book, Deprogram Diet Culture
💻 Enroll in the full Deprogram Diet Culture course at anew-insight.com
View the full podcast Transcript here:
[00:00:00]
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Welcome back to the ANEW Insight podcast. We are back for the second half of our interview with award-winning writer, producer, and host of the Well Adjusting podcast, Robin Hopkins. Robin gave us some really humorous insight into her path to create her imperfectly perfect podcast. We cannot wait to learn more.
Welcome back, Robin. Yay. So we are going to talk about your book If These Ovaries Could Talk: The Things We’ve Learned About Making an L-G-B-T-Q Family, it shares powerful stories about modern family building. How did writing this book shape your perspective and resilience and personal growth?
Robin Hopkins: You know, so the, the, the, the book came out of a podcast that I was doing at the time, um, called If These Ovaries Could Talk. It’s, it’s, it’s now, it’s now since changed into kind of a another, uh, another podcast, but [00:01:00] part of it was, you know, obviously I had gone through this journey, you know, of that’s, well not obviously, but I had gone through this journey of, of of, of creating my family and I gave birth to both the kids and um, and. I used to have these, like, I used to call ’em like, uh, like they were like seminars in my living room where like some lesbian couple would come over and I would run the blender with like frothy beverages with alcohol. And then they would be like, all right, we wanna have a baby. And then I would walk them through how to do it.
Like, it was just like, okay, so here’s, you’re gonna need a lawyer, you’re gonna need kind of insurance. You’re gonna need to go here. How do you wanna do it? Do you wanna do it this way? So we would just do this whole chat and you know it, and it became like kind of a thing. And then. This, uh, friend wanted to start this podcast.
I jumped in and it was, was so moving. Like I was, I was less interested in, in saying like, oh, you did four, you know, IUIs or, you know, IVF rounds or whatever. [00:02:00] But I was more interested in the human story behind how you created your family. And so that, like the book became. You know, we had all hundreds of interviews.
So the book then became like a roadmap. Like we laid it out like, okay, these are all the different ways that you can make an L-G-B-T-Q family, but these are the experiences, these are people’s stories. And, and you know, two people could have created their family in the exact same way, going to the exact same doctor and have completely different experiences. But there was. So many things along the way. You know, financial struggles for people, emotional struggles when it didn’t happen. You know, trying to, you know, talk about meditation and trying to be in the moment and like, not put pressure on yourself because then your rates and or your chances go down supposedly.
You know, it’s like, it just, the whole journey was a personal growth, experience, and it highlighted. And it’s my favorite part about the [00:03:00] book, it highlighted the intentionality with which L-G-B-T-Q folks create their families and how like no kid is wanted more than what, what, what we have to walk through. You know, it costs a lot of money, it takes a ton of planning it, it takes sacrifice on people’s parts. Like my wife doesn’t have any genetic tie to our children and that’s just the way it sorted out for us. But, so that was a sacrifice, however. If you like my kids, like they have all these traits that remind me of my wife and you know, there’s no part of them that would ever think of her as not their full genetic parent.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Robin Hopkins: And to, to that extent. I had to use different donors for my two kids. So technically they’re not even a hundred percent full siblings.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Robin Hopkins: And yet. You would never know that. And it’s like, love makes our family. And so I don’t, I, it, it’s just, it was such a great experience to look back on all the interviews [00:04:00] to, there’s a, each chapter tells mine and the other host’s personal journey around the topic and the chapter, and then there’s, uh, clips of, from different guests so that you just can hear all the, the, the fabric of, of our stories. And even just like being able to sit back and, and look at it as I told my story, my family story, I was like, oh, this is, this is pretty freaking cool like that the kids will get to see this and that it exists in the world for people as, as a roadmap, as a, you know, as a, a look back in history, you know, because it’s so much more common than it was when, when I started my family.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Is there anything that you had to overcome societally? Did you experience discrimination? And you know we just had a change in administration. And is there, are there feelings? Are there feelings? And what are the feelings?
I have a lot
Robin Hopkins: of feelings. I’ll be eating a Snickers bar over them later.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Robin Hopkins: I’m kidding.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Me too.[00:05:00]
Robin Hopkins: um, it, you know, I, I, we live in a bubble. I live in Brooklyn, New York, so I’m quite lucky that it’s an incredibly, you know, welcoming community. So I don’t, I don’t feel like we’ve experienced real discrimination, and I think we’ve been very, very lucky in that regard. Uh, but I did have to overcome a lot of, um. You know, you go through, or I, as a therapist, would make me say, I go through, I went through don’t speak for the greater you. You know, I had to become comfortable with my own internalized homophobia. Um, was such a journey for me, and it’s one thing to hide my sexuality. That’s a choice that I can make that only harms me or benefits me, however, depending on whatever moment you’re looking at. But if I don’t model absolute pride in, in who I am and who our family is for my kids, what bag am I handing them?
Dr. Supatra Tovar: [00:06:00] Mm.
Robin Hopkins: Like, you know what I mean? So it became really clear very early on that we had to be comfortable with it. And the I, I wrote a story that was like featured in HuffPo called, That’s My Daddy, and it, um. I think it’s on my Substack page if anybody wanted to read it, which is, um, Robin Hopkins. I dunno, whatever. It’ll probably be in the show notes or something. It’s some Robin Hopkins, Substack, whatever. So it, but it, um. It was about when my daughter started going to, um, Pre-K or know, to like an actual place and she started walking up to men on the street and going, that’s my daddy. And we were like, like, you know, ’cause the first time she did it, like guy was like, I mean, quite possibly homeless and, you know, and I was like, um, no.
Now that’s, I was like, no, no, nope. I, you have two moms. And I, you know, it’s like, I always knew that would be something we’d have to deal with, but I thought it would be like in middle school, like when they couldn’t stand us for whatever reason. And it was like soon as she went into an environment where dads were coming, she was, she noticed something was different. And so we ended up getting [00:07:00] this book, it was like the most specific book in the history of man. It was like I had two moms and, and they, a nice man donated so that, you know, it was like, it was very like, you know, really specific. And when she would do that, we would put it into rotation and we would read it to her.
And then over the years. We would just expand on it and we’d be like, oh, and another nice man, you know, donated for your brother. And so you have different donors and there’s donor siblings, there’s people that you know that also share the same donor as you. So we would just expand on the story and every
time I noticed it helped me get comfortable. talking,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Hmm.
Robin Hopkins: like, you know, as I said in, in the first part of this conversation, like talking about things that I’m not comfortable, it was very hard for me. And so I just knew I had to keep saying it until I got comfortable with it. And now it’s just like, you know, I’m, I’m a lesbian. Can you pass the softball?
You know, it’s just like, it just is what it is. And you know, there’s a and I, and. My kids are so comfortable [00:08:00] too. And again, we’re in a bubble. Might not be like that if we lived in Indiana, but you know, I don’t, I choose not to live in Indiana for that very reason, because of, you know, no offense, Indiana, we love you. Um, but just like, it’s just not the bubble that New York is,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Exactly.
Robin Hopkins: have to, like you said, look at the administration for that.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yeah, and I think, you know, I’m in LA, you’re in New York. We’re definitely in luckier places for, you know, people, any marginalized people really. So I think, you know, only time will tell what will come out of this administration, but I’m really hoping that, um on the other side, it leads us to more growth rather than less growth.
I’ll just leave it at that. Um,
Robin Hopkins: We can only
Dr. Supatra Tovar: hope
but I really, I really love that you were telling stories to your children and you were using that book, and storytelling plays a huge role in your work. You know, this is in your book, this is in your [00:09:00] podcast. Why is it that sharing personal stories helps people feel more understood and more connected?
Robin Hopkins: I, I think it, it’s funny ’cause there’s, I could give you a thread back to standup. I was never an observational comic. I was a personal experience comic. So I was always telling stories from my personal experience and most often I was like making fun of myself for doing something dumb. I had this whole bit about how I put my, underwear on wrong for an entire day and I just kept being like, what is going on? Um, it was some very, some interesting material, but, you know, I, I think that that there’s something about when people go, oh my God, that’s me too. know? It’s like that whole thing that everybody says on on, on memes or it me like, it’s like the it me of it all is, that’s the great human connector is to see yourself in someone else.
And when they’re laughing about it, that makes you feel less alone. I think that’s really important, you know? And so we have always tried because there is, you know, I will, I will say that there’s a whole, um, donor [00:10:00] conception, uh, group out there that are unhappy and, and wanna change regulations around, uh, uh, sperm donation because oftentimes they weren’t told. And it’s like, it was interesting ’cause we had some conversations with them, uh, with, with this one particular organization. And I said, how many L-G-B-T-Q um, folks do you have represented on, on your board. And they were like, none. And I was like, interesting. And I said, and how many of the people who are are struggling, uh, were not told? And they were like, most of them. And I was like, interesting. You know, I was like, we live in a very, I mean, we’re forced to, because obviously one of these things is not like the other. Everyone’s gonna say, well, where’s the dad? So we are forced to live this very open life. But I do, I embraced it and you know, and my wife embraced it with our kids.
And I think. That has really helped them. I mean, I see differences in my two kids. Like one is much more open, much more like cool with it, and I think likes [00:11:00] being different and the other does not. And I can see it. And all I can do for that child is try to put something into place to make them feel as comfortable as possible. But I don’t think it’s any different than if they are embarrassed because I am older or chunky or, you know, I dress badly. Like, it’s like they’re, they’re gonna be embarrassed of you for something. They’re teens. It’s what they do.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Robin Hopkins: you know?
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yeah.
Robin Hopkins: You know, they’re trying to like, break off from you. So it’s like, Ugh, God.
Like there’s nothing that I can tell them that they don’t already know, let me tell you. So, so it’s just like. I, I don’t know. I think there’s something in the storytelling and talking that helps. Just helps healing. It helps. I don’t know, I just, nothing, nothing in a vacuum, in my opinion. Nothing in a vacuum, nothing hidden.
Nothing secret is [00:12:00] ever helpful
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Absolutely.
Robin Hopkins: At least experience.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes, absolutely. I, I mean, I think. When you look at self-help culture, right, it’s, I think it’s really overwhelming or oftentimes even contradictory. Like when we were on your podcast, we were talking about a lot of the myths that come out of diet culture, and, you know, the information that we, uh, receive on a daily basis often just leaves us just overwhelmed, confused, and stuck.
So what’s your advice for people who wanna grow? They have no idea where to start, where should they not start and where should they start?
Robin Hopkins: Well, I mean, I think the first thing is just start. Start with the thing you don’t want to do.
Every time I’ve gone back to therapy, it’s, ’cause when I would be walking in the neighborhood where my therapist’s office was, I’d be like, I wonder if I’m gonna run into [00:13:00] Patricia. And I was like, and it was always like, oh, that’s a very weird thought. And I, and it would be my subconscious being like, Robin, Robin, make, maybe you should probably go talk about some of these things. So I think do the thing you don’t wanna do. Start, because I think just like anything else, um, once, at least for me, once I do one thing, the next thing is easier. So, if the, if the thing is emailing a friend to say, do you, who was that therapist you had that you loved? You know, would you give me a referral? Like one email can start something. So I just, it’s just start like it’s, you know, there’s no way through it, but through it. And, and the thing that is the worst feeling I can almost think of is when I’m actively going against my inner voice. There’s, there’s, I, there’s, it’s so painful. It’s so painful when something inside me is going, you know that this is a bad [00:14:00] thing that you’re about to do for yourself. You, you, you do actually wanna go to the gym and then no, and then I don’t listen and then I stay on the couch and eat some ice cream or late, it’s like, I will feel so bad about myself. And, and how much worse is that than had I just gone?
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm. I love it.
Robin Hopkins: I did karate for a number of years, and, um, I stopped. I was like almost a black belt, but I stopped like when I had my second kid. ’cause I was just like, I, I cannot right now. And, but like Kaicho, who is the, the, the founder and the, the leader. He used to say, if you don’t wanna come, just pack your bag and show up.
If you get all the way to the dojo and you still don’t wanna be here, then go home. But if you, if you arrive and you, and you wanna do it, then come into the class. And I thought about that a lot. that idea of just like, I don’t wanna, but I’m gonna.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Well, I tell you, one of the greatest [00:15:00] depression relievers is action,
Robin Hopkins: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: and this is what I hope.
Robin Hopkins: It’s so counter-intuitive though,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Because you’re just, it’s inertia.
Robin Hopkins: Yes.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yeah.
Robin Hopkins: just one thing, like
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Right.
Robin Hopkins: ball. It starts the ball rolling.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: That’s why I encourage people to do one thing, but tiny.
Robin Hopkins: Yes.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: One thing that they can do that this is a little tiny step, because once they feel the relief that comes from action, the, the depression relief especially that comes from action, they’re motivated to do more.
And if they reward themselves for just doing that little thing, that’s what builds these newer lasting habits. And I love, love, love, love that you talk about listening to your inner voice.
Robin Hopkins: Yeah.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: really think.
Robin Hopkins: It’s never steered me wrong. Ever.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: It never steers anyone wrong, and I think we have grown up thinking we have to doubt this voice, or we’ve been told by somebody that we’re wrong in this certain way and we don’t trust this voice.
And I [00:16:00] highly encourage everyone in my office and just everyone, period, that if you were just quiet enough to hear that voice, you would be shocked at what it actually says, and you would, you would be inspired by what it says. You have to get quiet enough to listen to it, and that, you know, comes from meditation,
that can come from just being mindful. It can just come from just sitting in a room. Yes.
Robin Hopkins: like
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes.
Robin Hopkins: Listening to yourself is a practice. And
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Oh,
Robin Hopkins: and the, and the more in tuned that I get with it, the more it shows up.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: mm-hmm.
Robin Hopkins: The louder the voice becomes, the more present it is, and the easier it is to listen to.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Robin Hopkins: But I, but I, you’re right, small things, it is an important and distinction because who hasn’t been like, it is the first of the year, I’m gonna lose 800 pounds.
I’m gonna go to the gym
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Of course.
Robin Hopkins: every single day. And I’m always like, don’t ever set up a goal where you’re talking about go to the gym every day. That’s not happening.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Robin Hopkins: It’s not happening for 99% of the people.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yeah.
Robin Hopkins: So why not set a goal where you go two to three times a week and you have a base minimum?
Dr. Supatra Tovar: [00:17:00] Mm-hmm.
Robin Hopkins: Just like, like even if you could only make it once this week, so be it next
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Exactly. Yeah. Well I would say, you know, even make it even smaller, most people think that they can like carve out a half an hour every day and people can’t. They have lives, they have kids and you know, they gotta shower sometime. And I think that like creating the smallest amount, say it’s exercise, the smallest amount that you know you can do every day or five days a week, or however many you feel like is, is necessary for you to feel better.
Do that. Because adding on, you can always do that, but if you don’t have the bandwidth and you are depressed or you just, you can’t, like you’ve had the worst week ever. If it’s 10 minutes of exercise, even if it’s 10 minutes of stretching.
Robin Hopkins: Yep.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: You can do that and you know you’re gonna feel better. And oftentimes it just leads to more.
So, I, I love that. Let’s go back.
I
Robin Hopkins: also
Dr. Supatra Tovar: say,
Oh, [00:18:00] mm-hmm.
I
Robin Hopkins: just wanna give a shout out for accountability partners, because I think
that’s also like creating community when you wanna do something. Like, again, one of my biggest learnings is not trying to do everything alone.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yeah.
Robin Hopkins: always like, I got it. I can do it, but how much
more, much more can you do? Like you can be exponentially bigger, better, more if you have support and if you’re not doing it alone. So I love an accountability partner. Like I have one friend that I write with. We have a, we have a writing meeting every Wednesday at uh, 9:00 AM we bullshit for about 15 minutes at the top of the meeting.
And then we go, okay. And then we leave our cameras on, we mute the mic, and then we just write.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Oh, that’s great.
Robin Hopkins: And it’s an accountabilitything. And her and I during Covid did exercise that way. We’d be like, okay, I’m on the, I’m on the Peloton app. I’m at 8 0 2, I’m hitting start. And we would both start, and then we would be texting each other throughout like the workouts, like, but I I love an accountability partner just to
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Oh
Robin Hopkins: help you.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yeah, I think that’s brilliant. Let’s, let’s talk. [00:19:00] Your interviews, you have had a very wide range of guests on Well…Adjusting. Tell me about one conversation that maybe even completely changed the way that you think about self-improvement.
Robin Hopkins: Hmm. mean, I, I. All the, they’re kind of like my kids. All the conversations, like I, they’re all different and lovely and I love them all. Um, some, some make me like, grow in different ways. Like I, you know, I can be pushy, I can be, like miss something. ‘Cause I, I was hell bented on making a point. And so I have to be, I have to really try to like tune into the people and be like, where, where are they? And so I’m always like searching their face to see, did I say too much? Did I, you know, is this, how is this landing? So it’s like most of my learnings are about like. About the individuals and the [00:20:00] experience and rather than about growth in and of itself. But what I think is really interesting about that is there’s this, whether it be podcasting or television or whatever, there’s this idea sometimes that people have of like, we wanna reach the most people possible. But I’ll tell you what, those are always the worst shows ever
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Hmm.
Robin Hopkins: when in, when you go broad and when you try to speak to everyone, you end up speaking to no one. And
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Hmm.
every
Robin Hopkins: one of these conversations, I am just with that person in that moment being like, well, like let’s, let’s see if we, what, what can we do?
Like let’s just get in here and just see what happens. And in that specificity of that one conversation, I think it makes it more accessible to more people. I think
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Hmm.
Robin Hopkins: it’s a very counterintuitive experience and I think that that can help grow lots of people because people, ’cause think about it, how many times do people, like, I think sometimes people are drawn to group therapy [00:21:00] because maybe they’re not ready to say the same, the the thing, but they can, they like hearing themselves in that person across the room and they can nod and go, yep, yep.
I feel like that. And sometimes that creates space or growth. So it’s like. There’s something in all of this about the bigger picture of growth. again, going back to what I think I said in the first part was about we’re all in this together. And I think I, I think that creates growth.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: You parse growth out of each story and each story has something universal to it.
Robin Hopkins: Yes.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: And do you think that that universal through line is that we’re all struggling and we’re all seeking some form of healing?
Robin Hopkins: Absolutely. I mean, I don’t know that everybody is seeking healing, but I think we’re all struggling. I think there are many people in this world. I, I, you know, I use my mom as a reference, like I just, I, I used to say, I still say she was too sensitive for this [00:22:00] world and this time around she just couldn’t get it. Like, she just did the very best she could, but she couldn’t get it. And I think there are some people who aren’t gonna get it this time around. And I’m not saying I believe in reincarnation, but if I, if who, I don’t know, it seems like there’s some old souls we we’ll never know until we’re gone. So, you know, I’m not gonna, I don’t worry too much about it, but I think I, I do think that that is. That everybody’s struggling. I just, weird little story. There was first day I dropped my daughter off at, at daycare. Gosh. She was like, I was like coming out of maternity, I’m not cry, crying, whatever. And you know, and, and. I see this lady, no, I’m sorry. It wasn’t the first day. It was like in that first year.
And I’m on the, I’m in the, I’m in the elevator with this woman and I’m exhausted and I’m just, ugh. And she, she kinda like, gives that mom face and I said, Ugh, you know, some days you just can’t wait till seven o’clock. And she goes, yeah, I know that feeling. She goes, I mean, I’ve never felt it. But I, I understand what you’re saying and I was like, you bitch, [00:23:00] because I, because I was just like, that is, first of all, you are a boldfaced liar. I don’t believe that there is one parent on this planet that hasn’t had a day where they just want their child to go to bed. It does not mean I don’t love the absolute every cell in their, in their being, but it does mean that I am at my limit. I’m tired and I wanna go to bed
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Robin Hopkins: and there and, and I thought at first I was just super mad. And then I was like, oh, I feel very sorry for this woman because this is a person who is so caught up in the perception of how she believes she’s supposed to act as a mother, as a person. That she couldn’t even connect with me one-on-one to say, I know it’s been a tough one, right. You know, so I, so I do think there are some people that aren’t up to it for whatever reason, whether it’s unkindness or whether it’s just they’re shutdown or maybe they’ve just had so much trauma, you know, I just don’t know that my mom could, she just couldn’t. And, but I do think we’re all messed [00:24:00] up and
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Hmm.
Robin Hopkins: it’s so much better. Like, don’t you feel less alone when you think about everybody being completely messed up?
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Robin Hopkins: it’s part of of, it’s part of the problem with social media is, is. I, you know, I love to put up stuff where my family, we look like idiots. I love that kind of a post. One,
it’s funny, and our family motto is, you don’t cut funny. But two, it’s real, like the perception of what people think I’m doing versus the reality. It’s just, it’s like, it’s all just, it’s all smoke and mirrors. Everybody’s, everybody struggles
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Absolutely.
Robin Hopkins: That brings me comfort.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Me too. And you know, to, to go back to something that you brought up in the beginning, you have said that you’ve struggled with weight and shape and a lot of people who listen to this or who come to my therapy, they also struggle. What is one thing that you can impart on them as [00:25:00] they are going through this
you know, journey and this struggle? What have you learned that’s helped you navigate and cope with difficulties with eating?
Robin Hopkins: Well, I think like they’re just feelings. They’re not gonna hurt me and that I, that’ll probably be, I’ll probably be struggling with that for a lifetime that I don’t need to eat over them. Um. But that I, it’s an area
Dr. Supatra Tovar: I.
Robin Hopkins: that I’m gonna get help in. Like, it’s like when I’m struggling, I call into an OA meeting. I, you know, it’s just, I just know this is a fight for me and I just know that that is, there’s something in me that this is, I don’t know why. I don’t know. I wish it weren’t the case, but it is. And. So I would just say, no, you’re not alone. And you know, and I try, I try very hard to, to be thankful of my body rather than ashamed of it, or mad at myself because of, you know, maybe I didn’t treat it the best and [00:26:00] now there’s some stretch marks or there’s the this or there, there’s the that.
Or maybe I’m at a point where I’m a little heavier than I feel comfortable with. Like I try to, to love my body as best I can and I. I’d be lying if I said, I mean, if it’s like baseball, like maybe I got a 300 average, but like, is that better? That’s better than a 200. So it’s like finding the wins and.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: I know nothing about baseball, so I’m like.
Robin Hopkins: Three outta 10. The three outta 10 is like a good batting average 300 for some reason. But it’s like you only hit three. It just seems weird. Um, but you know, like sometimes I can only let my body three outta 10 days, but it’s like, I don’t know, it’s maybe it used to be one. So just, I think it’s important for people who struggle to know you’re not alone. I don’t think you should be ashamed. I think it is a. To your earlier point, there is so much phobia on the internet. There is so much like, why can’t you just help yourself and just, just be, why don’t you just get a little disciplined? It is not [00:27:00] that for many of us out here, it is not that, and I don’t want anyone to ever think that.
So it’s like find a, find a space, find people who you can talk to. They will tell you you’re not broken. Because what I can say is this, is is that voice that energy does not help me any, it doesn’t help me in any way, but
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes.
Robin Hopkins: put people around me that it’s like a positive thing of like just what’s the next right action.
And for
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Yes.
Robin Hopkins: it’s like I just have to, sometimes I might gonna have to white knuckle it,
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Mm-hmm.
Robin Hopkins: But it is what it is.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: I adore your humanity. I really do. It’s you are all about community. You are about how the stories that we tell unite us. You are also about really being kind and giving yourself grace. Especially when you’re struggling and that we are all in that same boat. And if we can be open and honest about that, um, and [00:28:00] reach out to each other, then we can help pull each other up through this.
And that’s what you provide on your podcast and that’s what you give to so many people. And I think that the world is a better place for that. On top of that, you’re freaking funny and so you’re like the full package. So.
Robin Hopkins: Well, thank you.
We
Dr. Supatra Tovar: will have all of the ways to, you know, listen to read Robin, you know, just everybody go to Robin please, because this is really, um, just powerful stuff and I think that she helps tie us all together as humans.
So, Robin, thank you so much for coming on my podcast. I’m really, really honored to have you here.
Robin Hopkins: Please, I was honored to, I was honored to be invited and I love what you’re doing. It’s like the more we can all be out here, like, like preaching to the choir, I think that’s just, that’s what we gotta do.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Exactly.
I’m
Robin Hopkins: so thankful and I’m so glad you’re doing what you’re doing ’cause it’s, [00:29:00] it’s fantastic.
Dr. Supatra Tovar: Well, thanks Robin and thank you everyone for tuning into the ANEW Insight podcast. I really hope you come back for the next exciting interview, and I will see you next time. Thank you, Robin.
Robin Hopkins: Thank you.
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